'^ibtavtf of §o\xpt^^, 

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 



TRIUMPHS OF GRACE.— FULTON STREET 
I PRAYER MEETING. 



LIVINGS T^ORDS 



/ FROM 



LJTIM6 MIM. 

EXPERIENCES OF CONVERTED INFIDELS. 



NEW YORK: 
BOARD OF PUBLICATIOIS' 

OF THE 

REFORMED PROTESTANT DUTCH CHURCH, 
Synod's Rooms, No. 103 Fulton Street. 






18 6 3. 



y^-rA/^ 



^"^ 



Entebbd according to Act of Congress, in the year 1863, by 

REV. THOMAS C. STRONG, D,D. 

On behalf of the Board of Publication of the Reformed Protestant Dutch Church in Nortii 

America, in the Clerk's OflBce of the Dietrict Court of the United States 

for the Southern District of New York. 



21 rJrV 



HOSFORD A KETCHAM, 
ITATIONERS AND PRIlTTBRS, 

67 and 59 William St., N. Y. 



c- 



s.. 



CONTENTS. 



Page. 
Atheist in the Prayer Meeting - - - 5 

Hunting Him a Year 13 

Infidel Mate of a Ship 21 

The Invisible Hand 25 

The Infidel and his Child 33 

I have Missed it — at Last 41 

A Child's Tears and Entreaties - - - 45 
Tossing the Six-Shooter Overboard - - 49 

Grace Abounding 57 

Testimony of a Sailor --65 

A Call in the Night ------- 73 

How THE Infidel Convinced Himself - - 85 

Prayer for an Infidel 89 

A Hard Case and a Great Change - - - 93 

Christ a Terrible Judge 97 

The Converted Free Thinker - - - - 101 

First Year with Christ 109 

Sight to the Blind ..-.--- 117 

The New Witness 121 

Praying with the Face in the Bible - - 125 
The Chief of Sinners - - - - _- - -129 

Prevailing Prayer 137 

Doomed to Destruction - 141 



C8^ 



EXPERIENCES OF INFIDEL MEN 

BKLATBD IN THE 

|ttU0n Str^d fopr puting. 



Great desire has been manifested on the part of some 
of our most devoted Chaplains, in hospital and field, to 
have a book prepared which would meet the infidelity 
which prevails amongst some of our officers and men. 
To answer this demand this little Volume has been pre- 
pared, and is now sent abroad upon its mission of useful- 
ness and love. No class of men can so well speak to 
infidel and unbelieving men as those who have them- 
selves been subject to unbelief and infidelity, but who 
have been translated out of deep darkness into God^s 
marvelous light. These chapters are the narratives which 
such men have given — themselves — of their religious 
experience, in the Fulton Street Prayer Meeting. 



It is hoped that this little volume will be acceptable 
and useful, not only in our army and navy, but also in 
our families and Sabbath schools, throughout the land. 
"We hope our children and youth will read it, and from 
it learn the value and importance of that instruction 
which they receive, by which they are taught that the 
Bible is our only rule op faith and practice. 

(4) 



CHAPTER I. 
The Atheist in the Prayer Meeting. 

In the Fulton Street Prayer Meeting, in 
New York, a gentleman arose, and stood a 
moment deeply affected. He was in the 
middle lecture room, and the hour for the 
meeting was about half gone. All eyes 
were turned upon him, for he was a stran- 
ger. He had a fine, intellectual face, and a 
marble, polished brow. All indicated that 
he was a man of high intelligence and cul- 
ture. He said: 

" 1 came into this meeting one year ago. 
I came here an atheist — an atheist of no 
common order — but made such by science, 
falsely so called. I was honest and earnest 

1* (5) 



6 THE ATHEIST IN 

in my views, and had not a thought but 
that I was right. I came into this Fulton 
Street Pra3^er Meeting because I had heard 
much of it, and because I supposed I should 
here see another phase of the human mind. 
And, moreover, I wished to judge for my- 
self. I wished to be a witness of the 
meeting. 

" I liad not been here many minutes be- 
fore my mind became deeply impressed with 
the conviction that there was something true 
and real in these things, which was above 
my knowledge — something in what was said 
and done — ^but more in that which had no 
voice^ but was hid in the recesses of these 
hearts, of which I was entirely ignorant. I 
looked upon these faces — all intelligent— 
faces evidently of business men, and I said 
to myself, ' Why do these men come here, 
in the middle of the brief, flying hours allot- 
ted to business, the din and roar of which 



THE PRAYER MEETING. 7 

is in all ears? What brings these men 
here V 

" I had started a question, which as a 
philosopher I was bound to answer. Here 
was an effect, for which I was' bound to find 
the real and adequate cause. What could it 
be ? I had to say to myself, ' I am unable 
to assign that cause.' 

" I came again and again, and was a silent 
and most attentive listener. I had to admit, 
to my own mind, that there was an unseen 
power operating upon all these minds — a 
mind above these minds — and that must be 
God. I confess that a conviction, stronger 
than any external evidence, of the nature of 
the highest kind of evidence, seized upon my 
mind, that God was here, or what was here, 
as the moving power, must be God. When 
that was settled, I said to mj'-self, ' What 
these men pray for, I ought to pray for ; 
what they feel, I ought to feel ; and what 



8 THE ATHEIST EC 

they need, I need as mucli as they.' I in- 
quired, * Is this religion ? ' My heart an- 
swered, ' It is religion.' My conscience 
said, ^Tou ought to embrace it.' My de- 
spairing heart said, ' Oh ! that I might em- 
brace it.' How long and how diligently I 
sought, yet how blindly, I need not say. 
Tliat is past. 

" My friends," and his voice was in a 
tremor of deep emotion, as he stood strug- 
gling for voice to speak, '' I am here, just a 
year after my first coming into this room as 
an atheist, to tell you what a precious Sa- 
viour I have found — humbly, yet joyfully, 
to ackno^tledge what he has done for a sin- 
ner like me." 

He held a small Bible in his hand, and 
continued : " 1 have found him of whom 
Moses and the prophets did write — Jesus 
exalted a Prince and a Saviour to give repen- 
tance and remission of sin. This," said he, 



THE PRAYER MEETING. 9 

holding up his Bible, " is the warrant of all 
my hopes. I fold this Bible to my heart, 
which I so long rejected as having no au- 
thority — I fold it to my heart as a revelation 
to my soul of all I hope for and all I enjoy. 
Oh! the glad hour when Jesus washed my 
sins away. As a little child I have received 
Hlie kingdom of heaven.' I knew nothing, 
and God has taught me. 1 understand now 
who inspires these prayers. I undez'stand 
now why these business men come here to 
pray at the middle of the day — hour of all 
the day the best." 

He then said that he had a father and 
mother for whom he asked prayer. They 
had never taught him the Scriptures when 
he was young — never teaching him even 
that religion was a reality. He wished we 
would earnestly pray for them. He urged 
reasons why we should not' be faithless in re- 
gard to them, but believing. " Oh ! do 



10 THE ATHEIST IK 

pray— pray," said lie, "for my poor father 
and mother." And he sat down amid flow- 
ing tears. 

On the ensuing day he appeared again, 
and renewed his request for prayer for his 
dear father and mother. He said they were 
intelligent, at ease in worldly circumstances, 
surrounded with comforts ; but since the 
change in his views, their comforts and ease 
had departed. He had tried to be faithful. 
He was praying and hoping that they would 
become Christians. What it had cost him 
to openly write eool on all his former 
boasted knowledge and opinions, no mortal 
mind could know — no language could de- 
scribe. Again he held that precious little 
Bible up— "Here are the treasures of wis- 
dom and knowledge. 

" * This is tlie Judge that ends the strife, 
When wit and reason fail ; 
Our guide to everlasting life, 
Through all this gloomy vale.* 



THE PRATER JIEETING. 11 

"Oh! that I had been instructed in this 
blessed book when I was a child. Then, 
perhaps, my life wonld not have been a 
blank, so far as all good doing is concerned, 
xip to this late day. Then, perhaps, I should 
have been saved from the sad influences 
which I have been under, and which I have 
exerted. Oh ! teach the blessed words which 
this book contains to your children, that 
even while young they may lay hold on 
eternal life." 

The meeting heard this confession of 
Christ, and of his confidence in the Bible, 
with glad surprise. 

A clergyman, after a moment's pause, arose 
and said : 

" You cannot well conceive the surprise I 
had, on visiting a people whom I had been 
some time absent from, to see a man rise to 
pray, who had been an infidel. He was a 
hardened, scoffing infidel, of the Fourierite 



12 THE ATHEIST.' 

school. At every place, and under all cir- 
cumstances, he was there ready to cast ridi- 
cule upon religion, if he was there at all. 
Now to see that man rise to lead in prayer, 
is it any wonder that he was surprised ? It 
was a delightful surprise. That prayer was 
so humble, so earnest, so full of confession 
for all the past, so full of thankfulness for 
the glorious gospel. It was no wonder that 
men were deeply touched, no wonder that 
some tears fell, and that the chords of the 
hearts of all present were swept by a master 
hand, and vibrated to that heart which was 
now so full of the love of Christ. Who 
could doubt that this was the work of the 
Holy Spirit?" 



CHAPTEK n. 
Hunting Him a Year. 

The following was related by a clergyman, 
in a prayer meeting at Philadelphia, at the 
time of a convention held in that city, and 
was repeated in the Fulton Street Prayer 
Meeting : 

A gentleman said he had been an atten- 
dant at the late convention, and he tarried 
over a day, in order to be at the Noon 
Prayer Meeting held in Sansom street. He 
found the church well filled at the hour of 
prayer, and after the first half hour the 
brethren remaining over after the conven- 
tion were invited to occupy the time. The 

2 (13) 



14 HUNTING HIM A YEAR. 

delegate from California, who was a Metho- 
dist clergyman, arose, and said he had 
wished to relate one incident, in connection 
with his own experience and observation, 
which illustrated the power of a mother's 
prayers and love, and he begged a little in- 
dulgence. 

As he had a large circle of friends and ac- 
quaintances at the East, and as it was known 
that he was traveling, tq a great extent, over 
California, he received many letters from 
anxious friends, begging him to hunt up a 
brother, or a son, and endeavor to bring 
them to Christ. Many an earnest letter of 
this kind he had received. Among the rest 
was one from a mother, so urgent, so full of 
entreaty, that it took a deep hold upon his 
heart. The letter told him how she had 
agonized and prayed for a son in California, 
until she had lost all traces of him, and beg- 
ged of him that, on her behalf, he would 



HUNTING HIM A YEAR. 16 

endeavor to look up the lost boy, who, she 
feared, was in the broad road to ruin, 
and, as he loved souls, do all he could to 
save him. 

Then, the speaker went on to say, I hunt- 
ed for that son a whole year. I made inqui- 
ries for him everywhere. I determined to 
find him, if possible. At last I found him in 
a gambling saloon, at the card table, deeply 
engaged in play. In the midst of his game, 
I approached him, and told him I wished to 
speak with him. We descended into the 
street together. I told him how long I had 
been on the hunt for him, and it was all 
about the salvation of his soul. 

He laughed me to scorn. He assured me 
I used my time and money to very poor ad- 
vantage in looking for him, and, as he would 
take good care of himself, he did not know 
but thanks for all my painstaking would be 
superfluous. He said much that indicated 



16 HUNTING HIM A YEAR. 

that he looked on my efforts with haughty 
disdain and contempt. 

But I had a commission to fulfill. So I 
requested him to go with me to the temper- 
ance rooms, and there sign the temperance 
pledge ; and then I wished him to go to the 
prayer meeting with me. He flatly refused 
to do either. 

Stepping up close beside him, I placed my 
hand upon his shoulder and said, " Charlie, 
I believe you have a pious, praying mother. 
I am here at the request of that mother. All 
this long year have I sought you, from place 
to place, in obedience to a request of that 
mother. I have the letter in my pocket, 
asking this of me ; would you like to see 
it?" 

The young man was struck dumb for a 
moment with astonishment. I ran my hand 
into my pocket for the purpose of showing 
him the letter. " Oh ! " said he, " don't show 



HUNTING HIM A YEAR. 17 

it to me ; don't produce the letter. I cannot 
bear to see it. If any young man owes a 
debt of gratitude to a mother, none more 
than I." I asked him again to go with me. 
He answered, " Let me go back and finish 
my game, and then I will come and go with 

you." 

He went back and played out his game, 
and, good as his word, he came out and 
went with me. We first went to the temper- 
ance rooms, and he signed the pledge. Then 
we went to the prayer meeting. The man 
was soon in great agony of spirit. To make 
a long sto'ry short, that young man became 
hopefully converted, and witnessed a good 
confession before many witnesses. He was 
a liberally educated young man. He was, 
in process of time, chosen to be a judge of the 
court of the county in which he resided. 
He was a conscientious judge. 

One day he was trying a man, who was 

2* 



18 HUNTING HIM A YEAR. 

indicted for gambling and similar offences — 
just sucli as lie had before been guilty of. 
The man at the bar was a desperado, and he 
shot the judge upon the bench. He was 
mortally wounded and life was fast ebbing 
away. He sent immediately for me, con- 
tinued the speaker. I had just time to reach 
him and receive his last words. Oh! what 
precious words they were. 

" Tell my dear mother," said the dying 
young man, " that I am dying in the assur- 
ed hope of a glorious immortality beyond 
the grave. Send to her a thousand thanks 
that she sent you that letter, and oh ! a thou- 
sand thanks to you, that you so faithfully fol- 
lowed me up, and hunted that whole year 
for me. Tell my darling mother I thank her 
for that love which never tired, and for tiie 
prayers which were never omitted for her 
far-off son. I am going — going to heaven. 
I shall meet her there. Oh ! who can value 



HUNTING HIM A YEAR. 19 

a mother's prayers ? And who would com- 
plain of the faithfulness of a covenant-keep- 
ing God, if they would give him no rest — as 
did this mother, my dear, dear mother. 
Farewell." 

The gentleman then added : 

While I was laboring for the salvation of 
men in California, I had an impenitent 
father, and mother, and brother, and two 
sisters, all of whom opposed me when I 
devoted myself to the gospel ministrj'-, and 
for all whom I prayed. Now I am on my 
way to meet them, and next Sabbath I ex- 
pect to give them the right hand of fellow- 
ship on their admission into the Church, and 
sit down with them at the sacramental table 
of the Lord. All of them have been con- 
verted within the last seven weeks, and 
when I shall meet them, whom I have not 
seen for many years, how different will be 
the scene from that in which I parted with 



20 HUNTING HIM A YEAR. 

them years ago — all of them opposed to the 
Gospel of Christ — now all of them rejoicing 
in Christ Jesus. So I believe God has been 
a covenant-keeping God with me, and been 
faithful to his promises to hear and answer 
prayer. 

And now, said the gentleman making the 
narration, suppose we, any and all of us, 
should follow up our impenitent friends with 
the same intensity of industry and desire as 
were manifested in this case, should we not 
win our impenitent friends to the Saviour ? 
Who would stand out against it ? Would not 
the Spirit of all grace make it the means of 
their conversion — our faithful, humble, per- 
severing efforts? Surely he would. 



CHAPTER III. 
The Infidel Mate of a Ship. 

There is much skepticism and infidelity 
and mysticism among the men of the sea. 
Great changes are going on among this class 
of men. 

The mate of the ship was one of the infi- 
dels of the ocean. He was in the Fulton 
Street Meeting. He began by asking how 
we learned to know Christ, and what we 
knew of him, his gentleness, kindness, for- 
bearance, long-suffering, patience, love, and 
mercy. " Oh ! what should have become of 
me, if it had not been for all these ? Where 
should I have been now? I was surrounded, 
away on the broad ocean, by those who 
derided religion— who said religion depended 



22 THE INFIDEL MATE 

on the shape of a man's head. They were 
phrenologists, believing some where made 
to be very religions by an irresistible necessi- 
ty; and some, by the same necessity, were 
very irreligions. I drank in all these notions. 
I thought it was all well enough for those to 
be Christians who conld not be any thing 
else, according to their animal organism. 

"But one year and a half ago, I was in 
this meeting, and here I got a barbed arrow 
in my heart. I was in sore trouble. I 
could not rest. My sleep gone, comforti 
gone, hopes gone, all gone, I found myself a 
poor, miserable sinner. What a wretch I 
was ! I went about my ship, abandoned of 
all hope, not knowing what to do. I often 
tried to pray, yet hardly dared to pray. I 
would steal away from all my companions, 
and a dreadful sorrow was in my heart. 
There was no one to tell me what to do. 

" One night I got down on my knees to 



OF A SHIP. 23 

ask Christ, as a great Saviour, to have mercy 
on me. It seemed he came along, and he 
said. ' What are you on your knees for ? ' 
and I answered, ' Oh ! if it be possible for 
such a sinner as I to be forgiven, I want to 
be forgiven.' I confessed that I was hell- 
deserving, and must perish, if he did not 
have mercy. 

"What do you think he said to me? 
'Though your sins be scarlet, they shall be 
as white as snow. Look to me and be saved. 
I can save to the uttermost. I have white 
raiment, and thou shalt be clothed. I give 
sight to the blind. I will anoint thine eyes 
with salve, and thou shalt see. Thy sins are 
forgiven thee; go in peace.' All this seemed 
real to me — ^as real as if I heard his voice, 
and had seen him present before me. I 
knew it was the Spirit, taking the things of 
Christ, and showing them to my soul. Oh ! 
how my heart went out after him ! How I 



24 THE INTIDEL MATE. 

embraced him — just all I wanted! I took 
hold, to never let go. I told him so. I 
made quick work, and strong work of it. I 
flung myself at his feet, and cried out, ' My 
Lord and my God !' I have been with him 
through many a storm since that blessed 
hour. I have been with him when the locks 
of mv head were filled with ice, but there 
was the fire of love to Jesus all aglow down 
in my heart. 1 have been where I expected 
every plank and timber of the ship would 
be moved out from under my feet, but all 
was peace and glory in my soul. Oh ! what 
would have become of me, if this had been 
all head religion? I tell you, brethren, I 
have found out that it is a heart religion — 
glory be to God — it is a heart religion. 

" Brethren, come to fountain head when 
you come here to pray. Come to fountain 
liead. It is always full. Fill up your empty 
pitchers and bear away.'^ 



CHAPTEK lY. 
The Invisible Hand. 

There is a power which is invisible and 
invincible. It is above all the forms of 
power open to the senses. Such is the 
power which alarms and terrifies the sinner, 
when no external or known influences have 
been employed. The following are sam- 
ples : 

Prayer had been requested for a Swedish 
sailor, who was said to be in a state of great 
religious anxiety. Fervent prayer was 
oflTered for him ; and then arose a clergyman 
of Brooklyn, and stated that the case of the 
Swedish sailor had stirred up a train of mem- 
ories in his own mind, illustrating most forci- 
bly the great truth that God hears and an- 

3 (25) 



26 THE INVISIBLE HAND. 

swers prayer. The case he was about to 
mention was one of peculiar interest, and 
the facts of it all lay within his own know- 
ledge. 

A woman of his acquaintance married a 
young sailor, who afterwards became mate, 
and then master of a ship. He was a man 
of strong traits of character every way ; he 
was very irreligious. In this revival his 
wife became, from a careless, impenitent 
sinner, a most pious, devoted. Christian wo- 
man. And with her own conversion she 
became intensely anxious for the salvatioji of 
her liusband. She prayed much for him; 
she used every means to reach his mind, and 
to direct his attention to the subject of reli- 
gion. She talked with him ; she plead with 
him ; she begged him to attend to the one 
thing needful. It was all in vain. She 
could not perceive that the slightest impres- 
sion was made upon his mind. He was ac- 



I 



THE , INVISIBLE HAND. 27 

customed to use profane language, to indulge 
in intoxicating drink, and addicted to irreli- 
gious practices generally. He paid no 
regard to the prayers or tears of his devoted 
wife. He sailed in just these circumstances 
for a foreign port. She now redoubled her 
diligence at a throne of grace. She prayed, 
and she besought others to pray for him. He 
asked the united prayers of Christians. 

Now see how wonderfully God hears and 
answers prayer. This sea captain was in the 
city of Antwerp, Germany; he was in a 
parlor, in a convivial company; he had a 
glass of wine in his hand, and was in the 
very act of raising it to his lips ; he stood a 
moment with his eye fixed upon the wine. 
Quick as a flash the thought passed through 
his mind, " What is to be the end of all 
this?" The arrow sank deep. "What is 
to be the end of all this?" He set the 
glass down upon the table imtasted. He 



! 



28 THE INVISIBLE HAND. 

soon retreated to his ship, locked himself in 
his cabin and tried to pray. His distress 
was keen and pungent. He never found 
peace until he found it in believing in Jesus. 
His progress was slow ; he had no guide but 
his Bible, no teacher but the Divine Teacher. 
His vessel had left port, and he was home- € 
ward bound. He dragged heavily in the 
great work of making his peace with God. 
But peace came at last, and came long before 
he reached his home. The hand that was 
laid upon him, in Antwerp, in that parlor, 
amid jovial companions, with the glass of 
wine upraised ; that hand that arrested him 
then and there, never left him till he was 
brought to himself at the foot of the Cross. 
Slowly he came, but he came at last to 
receive Christ, the truth, the way, the life. 

It was my privilege, continued the speak- 
er, to speak with that sea captain about his 
soul, soon after he landed, and a more rejoic- 



THE INVISIBLE HAND. 29 

ing,* happy Christian I have never met with. 
He was received into the Church upon the 
profession of his faith. He sat down once 
with his rejoicing wife, and with the Church, 
to the communion table. He left home 
again for another voyage. When a little 
time at sea, he was smitten with the disease 
of which in a few short days he died. He 
now sleeps beneath the waters of the Atlan- 
tic. That devoted praying wife mourns the 
loss of her dear husband, given to her as a 
child of God in answer to prayer ; but she 
mourns him with the prospect of a glorious 
reunion beyond the grave. 

Capt. S , sailing between N'ew York 

and Havre, said that from his youth he had 
been instructed in the things of religion, and 
to always pay great respect to religion. He 
consequently regarded the invitation which 
was given him some weeks since, to go to 
the Greenwich Street Prayer Meeting. He 
3* 



80 THE INVISIBLE HAND. 

went to the meeting. He listened attentive- 
ly to the prayers and exhortations. He said 
to himself. Surely there must be a most mo- 
mentous reality in the religion of these 
people, and if there is, where am I? and 
what am I 'i and whither am I drifting ? and 
where shall I land ? He saw his dangerous 
position. He thought within himself, Per- 
haps it is now or never with me. I should 
soon be a wreck if I did not improve my 
time. Said he, I got up at once in the meet- 
ing and asked them to pray for me. I went 
there a careless, prayerless man, but I went 
from that meeting straight to my vessel. I 
got down on my knees in my state room, 
when I had locked myself in, as soon as I 
could, and I cried to God to have mercy on 
my poor soul. I asked, in the language of a 
poor sinner of old, " God be merciful to me 
a sinner." I got up from that floor, and the 
light seemed shining all around me. Since 



THE INYISIBLE HAND, 31 

that time I have walked in that joyful light, 
I then told my mate there must be no more 
swearing aboard my ship, that I would not 
have it. He gave up swearing before me, 
but when my back was turned, he would do 
as he had done before. So I told him if he 
would not abandon the practice, he and I 
must part. So he did abandon it from that 
time. 

Another said: 

" I was alone in my cabin, in the port of 
New York, on the evening of the day on 
which my wife, unknown to myself, united 
herself with the Church. All at once there 
came over my mind a strange solemnity. I 
wondered what made me feel so. I did not 
know what it was. 1 felt restless under it, 
and endeavored to shake it off. I took up 
some light reading which I had with me in 
the cabin, and thought that by bestowing my 
attention upon that I might be able to create 



33 THE nmSIBLE HAND. 

a diversion of feeling and turn it into ano- 
ther channel or drive it away. But it was 
of no use. I tried and tried to banish that 
solemnity, and the more I tried the more it 
clung to me. Seeing a New Testament ly- 
ing upon the table, I took it up and opened 
it at the 15th chapter of the Gospel accord- 
ing to John. I read it through very atten- 
tively ; it made a deep impression upon my 
heart ; I thought what wonderful language 
it was — what a wonderful character it re- 
vealed. I wished I could be among those to 
whom those gracious words were addressed. 
I felt how great a sinner I was, and how 
much I needed a Saviour to interpose in my 
behalf and save me. I went to my state 
room and turned the key in the lock, and 
knelt down and endeavored to pray. I 
prayed for mercy and forgiveness. I im- 
plored, with deep penitence for my sins, a 
free and full pardon, and it came." 



CHAPTEK Y. 
The Infidel and Ms Child. 

It is not often that incidents so full of 
thrilling interest are related even in the Ful- 
ton Street Prayer Meeting. It was in this 
sacred place of prayer that the following 
touching letter was read by a merchant of 
this city. No one heard it and no one can 
read it without being deeply affected : 

My Dear Beother: You know that for 
many years I had been a follower of strange 
gods and a lover of this world and its vani- 
ties. Although not what the world calls a 
bad man, I was self-righteous, and thought I 
had religion enough of my own that was 
better tlian the Bible. I did not believe in 
the devil or hell. I believed that as God 

(33) 



34 THE INFIDEL 

had created man, lie was bound to save him. 
I knew I did not serve him, did not know 
him, did not obey him. Idid not believe in 
the entire divinity of Jesus Christ, and 
thought all Trinitarians were idolaters. Ton 
know what my early instructions were ; deep 
in my heart, though, they had been buried 
from sight or thought, by pride and sin, and 
the world. Prayer was forgotten — church 
was neglected — and worldly morality was 
the tree which brought forth its own decep- 
tive fruit. 

So I lived — so I would have died, had it 
not been that God remembers his promises 
to his loving children, " showing mercy unto 
tiiousands of them that love him and keep 
his commandments." IsTow and then better 
thoughts, and doubts and fears would spring 
up in my mind, which, however were soon 
stifled. As time rolled on, God blessed 
me with children. As the boy grew up, our 



AND HIS CHILD. 35 

mutual love for him made us anxious about 
his welfare and future career. From time 
to time intelligence beamed from him. His 
mind turned over the little he had learned 
of God, and his nightly prayers, taught 
him by us, from habit and superstition, more 
tlian any conscientious feelings. His ques- 
tions often puzzled me ; and the sweet and 
earnest manner in which he inquired of his 
poor, sinful father, to know more about his 
heavenly Father, and that " happj^ land, 
far, far away," which his nurse had taught 
him, proved to me that God had given me a 
great blessing in him. 

The simple little prayers I had learned from 
my mother, with my brothers and sisters, gra- 
dually began to grow over me, and made me 
often think. Still I never went to church — 
had not even a Bible in the house. What was 
I to teach my boy ? Christ and him crucified, 
or Universalism ? or let him learn what he 



36 THE INFIDEL 

could from the Jesuits, in whose church he 
was baptized ? Blessed be God, He, in his 
sovereign will, chose for me ! 

One of his little friends died : then ano- 
ther ; then his uncle. All these made an im- 
pression on the boy. He rebelled against 
it ; wanted to know " why God had done 
it? It was hard that God should just go and 
take his friends ; he wished he would not do 
it." I, of course had to explain the best I 
could. 

One evening he was lying on the bed 
partly undressed — myself and my wife be- 
ing seated by the fire. She had been telling 

me that T had not been a good boy that 

day. She had been telling what he had 
been doing, and had reproved him for it. All 
was quiet : when suddenly he broke out in a 
loud crying and sobbing, which surprised us. 

I went to him and asked him what was the 

> 

matter ? 



AND HIS CHILD. 37 

"I don't want it there, father — I don't 
want it there," said the child. 

"What, my child, what is it?" 

"Why, father, I don't want the angels to 
write down in God's book all the bad things 
I have done to-day. I don't want it there. 
I wish it could be wiped out." And his dis- 
tress increased. What could I do? I did 
not believe ; but yet I had been taught the 
way ; I had to console him— so I said : 

" Well, you need not cry ; you can have 
it all wiped out in a minute, if you want." 

"How, father, how?" 

"Why, get down on your knees and ask 
God, for Christ's sake, to wipe it out, and he 
will do it." 

I did not have to speak twice. He jump- 
ed out of bed saying. 

" Father, won't you come and help me." 

Now came the trial. The boy's distress 
was so great, and he plead so earnestly, that 
4 



38 THE INFIDEL 

the big man, who had never bowed down 
before God in spirit and in truth, got down 
on his knees along side of that dear boy, 
and asked God to wipe away his sins ; and, 
perhaps, though my lips did not speak it, my 
heart included my own sins too. We then 
got up, and he laid down in his bed again. 
In a few moments he said : 

"Father, are you sure it is all wiped out?" 

Oh! how the acknowledgment greeted 
tlirough my unbelieving heart, as the words 
came to my mouth. 

"Why, yes, my son, the Bible says, if you 
ask God, from your heart, for Christ's sake, 
to do it, and if you are really sorry for what 
you have done, it shall be all blotted out." 

A smile of pleasure passed over his face 
as he quietly asked. 

"What did the angel blot it out with? 
With a sponge?" 



AND HIS CHILD. 39 

Again was my whole soul stirred within 
me, as I answered : 

"No, but with the precious blood of Christ. 
'The blood of Christ cleanseth from all sin.'" 

The fountains had at last burst forth. 
Ihey could not be checked, and my cold 
heart was melted within me. I felt like a 
poor, guilty sinner, and turning away said : 

" My dear wife, we must first find God, if 
we t^ant to show him to our children. We 
cannot show them the way unless we know 
it ourselves." 

After a little the boy, with almost heaven 
looking out of his eye, came from his bed, 
and leaning on my knee, turned up his face 
to mine, and said : 

"Father, are you and mother sinners?" 

"Why, yes, my son, we are." 

"Why," said he, "have you not a Saviour? 
Why are you sinners ? God don't love sin- 
ners; don't you love God?" 



40 



THE INFIDEL. 




I answered as best I could. And in the 
silent hours of the night I bent in ptayer 
over that dear boy and prayed, " Lord, I 
believe, help mine unbelief." My wife, 
being a Koman Catholic, would not pray 
with me over our boy until, blessed again be 
God, the Lord's Prayer was put into my 
heart, and we prayed it together, and prayed 
jointly for ourselves and our child. And 
God heard our prayers and received us, as 
he always does those who seek him with a 
whole heart, for he has said unto such, " they 
shall surely find me." 



CHAPTEE VL 
"I have Missed it— at last" 

The man who used these words meant 
that he had missed his salvation. Oh ! how 
many miss their salvation ? The golden op- 
portunity to secure it they failed to improve. 

"Z have missed it — at lastP So said a 
gentleman on rising to speak a few words in 
the Fulton Street Meeting. These were the 
words of a young man Avho had died the 
night before. They were addressed to hia 
physician, who sitting by his bedside, and 
who had just communicated to him the sur- 
prising intelligence that he had but a very 
short time to live. The young man looked 
np in the face of his physician with a most 

4* (41) 



4:2 I HAVE MISSED IT AT LAST. 

despairing countenance and repeated the 
expression : 

"I have missed it — at last." 

"What have you missed?" inquired the 
tender-hearted, sympathizing physician. 

"I have missed it — at last," again the 
young man repeated. 

The doctor, not in the least comprehending 
what the poor young man meant, said, "My 
dear young man, will you be so good as to 
tell us what you ?" He instantly in- 
terrupted, saying : 

" Oh ! doctor," he answered, " it is a sad 
story — a sad — sad story that I have to tell. 
But I have missed it." 

"Missed what?" 

"Doctor, I have missed my salvation." 

" Oh ! say not so. It is not so. Do you 
remember the thief on the cross? " 

" Yes, I remember the thief on the cross. 
And 1 remember that he never said to the 



I HAVE MISSED IT — AT LAST. 43 

Holy Spirit — Go thy way. But I did. And 
now he is saying to me — Go your way?^ 
He lay gasping awhile, and looking np with 
a vacant, staring eye, he said — "I was 
awakened and was anxious about my soul a 
little time ago. But I did not want religion 
then. Something seemed to say to me — 
Don't put it off — make sure of salvation. I 
said to myself, I will postpone it. I knew I 
ought not to do it. I knew I was a great 
sinner and needed a Saviour. I resolved, 
however, to dismiss the subject for the 
present. Yet I could not get my own con- 
sent to do it, until I had promised that I 
would take it up again, at a time not remote 
and more favorable. I bargained away, 
insulted and grieved away the Holy Spirit. 
I never thought of coming to this. I meant 
10 have religion, and make my salvation 
sure. And now I have missed it — at last." 
"Remember," said the doctor, "that there 



44 I HAVE MISSED IT — AT LAST. 

were some who came at the eleventh hour.'' 
"My eleventh hour," he rejoined, "was 
when I had that call of the Spirit. I have 
had none since — shall not have. I am lost." 
"Not lost," said the doctor, "you may 
yet be saved." 

"]S"o — not saved — never. He tells me I 
may go my way now. I know it — I feel it — 
feel it here," laying his hand upon his heart. 
Then he burst out in despairing agouy, " Oh, 
I have missed it. I have sold my soul for a 
pin — a feather — a straw — undone forever." 
This was said with such unutterable, indes- 
cribable despondency, that no words were 
said in reply. After laying a few moments, 
he raised his head, and looking all around 
the room for some desired object — turning 
his eyes in every direction — then burying 
his face in his pillow, he again exclaimed in 
agony and horror, " Oh ! I have missed it at 
last;" and he died. 



CHAPTER Vn. 
A Child's Tears and Entreaties. 

A SPEAKER said that he went from a 
Brooklyn Mission school to a far-off home 
in Missouri. He went with several boys, 
and they were all placed in good Christian 
families. The gentleman speaking had visit- 
ed them in their distant home, a short time 
back. 

When Tommy left the Mission school in 
Brooklyn, it was hard to part with him, for 
he was a good boy. He shed many bitter 
tears at thought of going so far away. But 
when he saw him, what was his joy to find 
that he had become an earnest Christian. 
God had met him in mercy, and had given 

(45) 



46 TEARS AND ENTREATIES. 

him a new heart, and instilled into it an 
earnest desire for the salvation of others. 

There was living in the same town an old 
gray-headed infidel. He had lived many 
years in the place, and had grown up with 
it. He was a man who never went to 
church, and paid no heed to religious things 
whatever. 

When this little boy, who was only twelve 
years old, became a Christian, he felt very 
anxious for the salvation of this poor old in- 
fidel. So he went to him, and asked him to 
go to meeting with him. 

" No, no," said the old man, " 1 have not 
been inside of a church for twenty years, 
and I do not wish to go." 

" Oh ! come with me," said the young dis- 
ciple, " come with me. It will do you no 
harm, and it may do you some good." 

" No, no," the infidel replied, " you do not 
catch me to go there. I know better. I am 



I 



TEARS AND ENTREATIES. 47 

not going to begin now, after staying away 
from church for twenty years. No, no, you 
don't catch old birds with chaff." 

The boy began to shed tears. He could 
not help it. The old man, seeing this, said 
that he believed he would go, just to please 
his little friend, for he did not know when 
any one else had manifested such anxiety for 
him. 

The next night he went for the old man 
again, and w^ith some persuasion he got him 
to go a second time. That night the old 
man got an arrow in his heart. The third 
night he had no trouble to get the infidel to 
go to the meeting. The fourth night he went 
of his own accord. That old infidel was 
awakened, convicted, and converted. And 
he often, now, in the prayer meetings, speaks 
of his experience, and says, "What would 
have become of me, if it had not been for 
little Tommy's tears and entreaties." 



48 TEARS AND ENTREATIES. 

Thus the poor mission school boy has be- 
gun to be a real missionary, and has been 
enabled, by God's grace assisting, to win 
over the stout-hearted infidel to the cause of 
Christ. If we will win souls to Christ, we 
must do as he did, we must persuade them 
with many tears. 

Then another little boy was spoken of, who 
also belonged to a Mission Sunday school. 
He had been converted, as all his friends 
hoped and believed. When he had found 
an interest in Christ himself, he felt very 
anxious for his impenitent father and 
mother, and brothers and sisters. He per- 
suaded them to pray; he prayed with and 
for them. He actually pulled them down on 
their knees beside him, while he poured out 
his heart to God. 

What was the result of all this? That 
father and mother, and those sisters and 
^brothers are all rejoicing in the truth. 



CHAPTEE YHI. 
Tossing the Six Shooter Overheard. 

A GENTLEMAN Said that two years ago, the 
6th of March, a brother of his sailed away 
for California. Before he went on board the 
steamer, he loaded up each barrel of a six 
shooter, with three balls in each barrel, and 
he made a vow that those barrels should 
never be discharged until they were aimed 
at the heart of a man who had greatly in- 
lured him, and on whom he sought to be 
revenged. He even went so far as to pray 
that that pistol might do its dreadful oflSce- 
work, in taking the life of his intended 
victim. 

"I knew," continued the speaker, "the 
object of my brother's visit to California. 1 

6 (49) 



50 TOSSING THE SIX SHOOTER 

went to him and said to liim, I have one 
favor to ask of you, and as it is but one, you 
will not, I hope, deny me. Will you promise 
to do for me one thing ? " 

"Why, yes," said he, "if it is possible and 
proper to be done, I will promise." 

"Well," I replied, "it is both proper and 
possible. Will you promise." 

" I promise. What is it ? " 

"It is that you will receive this tract, 
' Come to Jesus,' and that you will read it 
with much prayer. 

" My brother had not expected such a re- 
quest as this, but he took the little book of 
me, and as we parted on the steamer he said 
he would read it, and pray according to the 
promise of much prayer. 

" Soon after leaving port he began to read 
the tract ' Come to Jesus.' It troubled him 
very greatly. The more he read and prayed, 
the more he was in trouble. There was a 



OVERBOARD. 51 

clergyman on board, to whom he opened his 
mind, and explained to him the object he 
had in view in going to California ; confessed 
that the tract had made a deep impression 
upon his mind, and he now looked at things 
in a different light. One day, as he was 
talking with the clergyman, he brought out 
the murderous pistol. They were by this 
time on the broad Pacific, making their way 
to San Francisco. 

" He said. ' This is the six shooter, with 
which I intended to kill my enemy in Cali- 
fornia. I shall not take vengeance into my 
own hand. The man shall be left to the 
Lord, to take vengeance upon him, or not, 
as he pleases. And now this six shooter 
shall go where it can never do any harm.' 
And suiting the action to the word, he tossed 
it into the sea. 

"Ten months ago," continued the speaker, 
" that brother returned from California. He 



52 TOSSING THE SIX SHOOTER 

returned a Christian. I had the pleasure of 
hearing him tell his Christian experience, on 
his being received into the Church on the 
profession of his faith. I had the happiness 
to sit down with him at the table of the 
Lord, and celebrate the love of Jesus. It 
was a blessed message to him which he found 
in that little tract, ' Come to Jesus.' And 
happy was the hour for him, when he prom- 
ised that he would read the tract, with much 
prayer. He never found peace for a single 
moment afterward, until he found it in be- 
lieving in Jesus. Oh ! " said the speaker, " it 
was a great change. He witnessed a good 
confession before many witnesses. It was a 
wonderful change. 

" Three weeks ago I saw that brother die. 
On the day before his death, he wanted the 
holy communion of the Lord's Slipper ad- 
ministered to him. ' There he sat in his bed, 
propped up with pillows, his face radiant 



OVERBOAKD. 53 

with joy and delight, as he joined with a 
little company of us, who where his friends, 
in the solemn ordinance. Oh ! what had 
that little message, ' Come to Jesus,' done 
for him. Death was already laying his icy 
hand upon him, but with a holy triumph he 
was passing away where he would sing the 
conqueror's song. 

" From the day of his conversion to the 
close of his life — short indeed, but full of 
rich experience — he had been much devoted 
to Christ, and he died rejoicing in him. 
When inquired of by a sister if Christ was 
with him, in the dying hour, being unable 
to speak, he answered by squeezing her 
hand. Some time after, when I went to his 
bedside, and asked if he knew me, and if 
Jesus was with him as he was passing 
through the dark valley ? ' Oh ! yes,' he 
answered with great emphasis. And these 
were his last words. ^ 

5* 



54 TOSSING THE SIX SHOOTER 

" So I would say to any impenitent sinner 
as the tract said to my brother, Come to 
Jesus. Oh ! my dear young friends, if you 
would but come — come to him — triumphant 
in mercy, able and willing to save. I want 
to speak of one saved at the eleventh hour* 
I had known him years ago, knew him in 
the way of business — knew him to be what 
I supposed he was — a careless, irreligious 
man. I first saw him come into this meet- 
ing some few weeks ago. I took pains to 
speak to him at the door, and to express my 
gratification at seeing him come into the 
Fulton Street Prayer Meeting. I told him 
I hoped he would keep coming. He did not 
say whether he would or not ; but the next 
day he came again, and he continued to be 
very punctual and very constant in his at- 
tendance. 

" One day I ventured to speak to him on 
the subject of religion. I found his mind 



OVERBOAHD. 55 

deeply interested. He spoke of his satisfac- 
tion in coming. One day I asked him if he 
hoped he had experienced the great change. 
He answered that he hoped he had. Often, 
after that, I would say a few words to him 
about his soul. I found him abiding in 
Christ. He came alw^ays into this meeting 
of late, with a most happy, joyful counte- 
nance. But a few days ago, as he was pass- 
ing out, I had noticed how deeply he had 
been affected during the meeting. ' Is it all 
well with vou?' said I. 'All well,' he im- 
mediately answered, with a most joyful ex- 
pression of countenance. 

"That was the last time he ever spoke to 
me. These were the words he left ringing in 
my ear — ' all well ! ' 

"He died without a moment's warning, 
two or three days afterwards. He fell down 
dead, in what was supposed to be perfect 
health. It was, indeed, his eleventh hour 



56 TOSSING THE SIX SHOOTER. 

when he came in here. He made his peace 
with God in the right time. It was, indeed 
— this meeting — none other than the honse 
of God and the gate of heaven to his soul. 
How important was this place of prayer to 
that one soul ! Let ns keep on praying; for, 
in due time, we shall reap, if we faint not." 



1 



CHAPTER IX. 
Grace Abounding. 

The requests of children for impenitent 
parents are very touching. They often 
reach the Fulton Street Prayer Meeting. A 
daughter sends a request, saying, that while 
God has had mercy on her soul her parents 
have been passed by. And the time has 
come when the hearts of children are turned 
to their parents. So she ventures to ask that 
her parents may be remembered before the 
throne of grace. 

A young gentleman arose, and said, that 
all requests of this character deeply affected 
him, for he once belonged to the same class. 
He had been brought to Christ himself, but 

(67) 



58 GRACE ABOUNDINa. 

his parents were out of the ark of safety. 
He said that he belonged to a Theological 
Seminary, and among his fellow students 
there were eight whose fathers were impeni- 
tent. Among them was one whose father 
was a wealthy, proud man of the world. He 
had carried the son through a collegiate edu- 
cation with a view to a shining career in 
another profession. When the time came 
for the son to make choice for himself, he 
frankly told his father that he wished not to 
study law. but to enter the Theological Sem- 
inary with a view to the Gospel ministry. 

" You wish to enter the Theological Sem- 
inary, do you ? " inquired the father, in a 
rage. 

" Yes, I do," answered the son. 

"And be a preacher — a poor preacher, 
do you ? " 

" And be as good a preacher of the Gos- 
pel as I can." 



GRACE ABOUNDING. 59 

" And I educated you for this, did I ? " 

"Not for tins. But I hope this is my 
calling — to preach the glorious Gospel of 
the blessed God." 

" And you intend to enter the Seminary ?" 

" I do, God being willing." 

" Then, from this day, I cut you off from 
all inheritance with my children ; and I dis- 
own you forever." 

" Not forever, I hope," replied the son. 

He entered the Seminary, and he was one 
of those eight sons who had impenitent 
parents — for whose conversion they held 
stated prayer meetings. The hearts of these 
children were turned to the parents. They 
earnestly wrestled in prayer. And I am 
here to tell you th^t every one of those 
impenitent fathers is converted. How shall 
I describe the meeting between the outcast 
son and his converted father, whom he hur- 
ried home to embrace as soon as he heard of 



60 GRACE ABOUNDING. 



the " great change." Oh ! what a change. 
You, who have impenitent parents, be en- 
couraged to pray for their conversion. He 
who turns the rivers of waters whither he 
will, holds all hearts in his hands, and he 
can turn the hearts of these parents to you 
as he turns your hearts to them. 

A middle aged man arose, and said, he 
wished to bear testimony to the power of 
prayer : 

" For many years, I was the burthen of a 
mother's and a sister's prayer. That mother 
I nearly brought, with sorrow, to the grave. 
I did every thing to resist her influence. I 
went into all manner of dissipation. I kept 
the company of the irreligious and the un- 
godly. I plunged into .pleasures of every 
kind. I laid no reins upon my desires. I 
spent money freely. I was decidedly a fast 
man. I did not intend to give any heed to 
religion. By some strange means I was 



GRACE ABOUNDING. 61 

brought into this meeting. I hardly know 
how it was. But having been in once 
I had a desire to be here again. I came 
time after time. The more I came the more 
I desired to come. It was not easy for me, 
with my own consent, to stay away. 

" I took to watching Christians. I scan- 
ned their conduct narrowly to see if I could 
not find some inconsistencies. I wanted an 
argument against religion, for I had begun 
to feel that it was a solemn reality. There 
was one family whom I watched narrowly. 
It was regarded as a very pious family, and 
I knew them well. But, after all my obser- 
vation, I could detect nothing out of the 
way. I was satisfied that the cheerful, con- 
stant peace which they enjoyed was not a 
sham. The more I believed this, the more 
trouble I was in. My mother's prayers and 
my mother's faith never gave out. They 
followed me. 

6 



62 GRACE ABOUNDING. 

" At last I was obliged to tell her just how 
it was with me. I had to acknowledge that 
I felt myself to be a very guilty sinner, and 
I should go down to hell unless God would 
have mercy upon me. I want to tell you 
what I owe to Jesus. I obtained mercy 
through him. Oh ! if there is a poor man 
here, without God, and without hope, who 
has a praying mother, I want to beg you to 
come and lay yourself at the feet of Jesus at 
once. Do not sin against a Saviour who, to 
add to all he has done for you, has given you 
a praying mother." 

Another arose. He is a physician, who 
has been publicly honored by some of the 
crowned heads of Europe for his published 
works and discoveries in medical science. 
He said he had been invited bv a friend to 
come into these meetings, and for a few days 
he had come in — saying at the same time to 
his friend, that he did not believe it would 



GRACE ABOUNDING. 63 

do him any good. He seemed struggling 
with deep emotion as he stood before the 
meeting, and said, " I wish to tell you my 
story and then ask you to pray for me. My 
story is briefly this: I studied medicine and 
practiced in a neighboring State — a careless 
and unbelieving man, as it respects the 
whole subject of the Christian religion. I 
went on in life and labor in my profession, 
without thinking whether I had a soul or 
not — to be saved or lost. 

" In the course of my duties, some time 
since, I was called to attend the death bed 
of a woman who was sinking with con- 
sumption, and when the hour of dissolution 
came, her friends all forsook her and fled 
from the room, and I was left alone with her. 
I determined that I would stand by her to 
the last, and I remained alone with her, and 
saw her die. 

" With the going out of her last breath, 



64 GRACE ABOUNDING. 

there seemed to come into my heart and 
mind a coaviction, as if it was from above, 
sudden as a bolt from heaven, ^hat it was 
'not all of death to die' — that there waa 
something beyond for which I must prepare, 
I felt a moral — a spiritual necessity upon 
me — a something that must be supplied, 
and a something that must be done, in order 
to this work of preparation. I found my 
mind aroused to inquire what this could be? 
And I came to the conclusion that I was a 
poor, lost sinner, and must be saved through 
the atoning blood of Christ, which alone 
could wash away my sins. 

" In process of time I hoped that my sins 
were all forgiven — for, from that hour of 
awakening, I i^ever had a moment's rest. I 
thought I found rest in believing in Christ. 
It was a new experience to me. I sup- 
posed and believed that I had made my 
peace with God, and in that confidence I 
rested." 



CHAPTER X. 

4 

The Testimony of a Sailor. 

The man whose testimony is here given to 
the power of divine grace had been a stout- 
hearted unbeliever in all revealed religion. 
To get rid of all religious restraints and in- 
fluences he had made the ocean his home : 

A sailor in the Fulton Street Meeting 
said he would not let the hour pass without 
saying a word. He wished to give his testi- 
mony to the power of " the glorious Gospel 
of the blessed God," in subduing such a 
heart as his. The speaker was a young man 
of small stature — a sprightly, intelligent- 

6"" (65) 



66 THE TESTIMONY OF 

looking man — a German, speaking the 
English language very imperfectly, though 
most in the meeting could understand and 
comprehend his meaning. His manner was 
very impassioned, and he seemed to be very 
much in earnest. He said he had never be- 
fore been in the meeting, and he could not 
go away without telling what the Lord had 
done for him. He had been a very wicked, 
irreligious and abandoned young man. 
" When any one had spoken to me," 
said he, " it was always my habit to say, 
' Go away, 1 will have nothing to do with it. 
I do not believe in religion. I will not hear 
you.' " So he had always repulsed every 
one who would come to him on this errand, 
to talk with him about his soul. He had 
thus resisted all approaches on the subject. 
" Some months ago," he said, " I shipped as 
a common sailor on board a ship, and was 
conveyed on board in a state of intoxication. 



J 



A SAILOR. 67 

Before I had got sober, I was ordered aloft 
to do something, and I could not do it right ; 
and the mate said he would flog me when I 
came down. So when I reached the deck, 
he pursued me with a belaying pin, and 
struck me, and I stabbed him on the spot, 
and inflicted a dangerous wound. As the 
vessel was still in port, he was conveyed to 
the hospital, and I was arrested and sent to 
the Tombs. I was in prison three months, 
waiting the termination of the injuries which 
I had inflicted on the mate. Meantime, 
some good people came to my cell with 
tracts and the Bible, proposing to leave 
them with me to read. I told them to take 
those things away ; that I did not wish to 
read them. But they insisted, and at last I 
was persuaded to read them. The good man 
kept coming to see me, and talking and ad- 
vising with me ; so I began to hear in good 
earnest. The more I read, the more I wished 



68 THE TESTIMONY OP 

to read ; and the more I read, the more I 
saw what a miserable sinner I had been. I 
had been a sinner all my days, and had 
not known much about religion. I had 
been a stranger to myself, and did not know 
what a vile wretch I was. Oh ! how thank- 
ful I became that I was shut up in the 
Tombs, where I was obliged to think, and 
where I learned to know myself— what I 
was. I was very much distressed, and I 
thought there was no mercy for me. I told 
the gentleman who came to visit me and 
pray with me, that it was of no use trying 
to save such a sinner as I. Nothing was 
left for me but to go down to hell. 

"^No,' said he, Hhere is no hell for a 
sinner that will repent and believe in 
Jesus.' 

" ' But,' I said, ' I am sure there is a hell 
for me, and I must go there.' 

" ' No,' said he, ' you will not go there. 



A SAILOR. 69 

Can you not believe the Lord Jesus ? He 
says. Him that cometh unto me I will in 
no wise cast out.' 

" Well, I could not believe. So this man 
brought me the tract — 'Coming to Jesus.' 
I read that tract with great surprise. I 
found that Jesus had come to save just such 
sinners as I was — come to seek and save 
them that were lost — and I was one of the 
lost; and he could save me, if he could save 
the lost — for I was no more than lost I 
saw that the plan of salvation was for the 
saving of just such a sinner as me. Oh ! I 
cannot tell you how glad I was to find that 
I might believe in Jesus, and, vile as I was, 
he could wash my sins away. My heart 
took hold on Christ. I cannot tell you what 
a blessed place my cell was. I prayed. I 
sung. I held up my heart to Christ — all 
foul as it was — to be cleansed in his pre- 
cious blood. Oh ! how I praised him for his 



70 THE TESTIMONY OF 

goodness to me. After a time I was let out 
of prison. I was walking these streets one 
day, and whom should I meet but the mate 
whom I had stabbed. I held out mj hand 
to him, and said : 

" ' I went to prison, but I hope God has 
converted and forgiven me in the prison. 
Can you forgive me ? ' 

" He grasped both my hands in his two 
hands, and said : 

" ^ I went to the hospital, and I hope God 
has converted and forgiven me in the hospi- 
tal. Can you forgive me ? ' 

"There we stood in the street — grasping 
each other by the hands, and the tears roll- 
ing down our cheeks, and men, passing by, 
stopped to look at us, wondering what the 
matter was. I tell you that was a happy — 
happy meeting. We met as everlasting 
brothers. Tlie last time we had seen each 
other we were bitter enemies. Now, Christ 



A SAILOB. 71 

had made iis friends. We could have em- 
braced each other there in the street. 

" Well, I went to sea. I have been on 
one voyage since I hope I was converted. 
We have mostly a pious crew. We went to 
Port-au-Prince. And such prayer meetings 
as we had on the voyage ! Oh ! what bless- 
ed meetings. It was often my duty to stand 
at the wheel. And in the night watch, 
Christ always met me at the wheel. It 
seemed as if he stood beside me, and talked 
with me as a man talks with his friend. I 
had some of my most 'precious times with 
him at the wheel. I tell you it was good 
times. 

" I do not mean that I saw him with these 
bodily eyes, but my heart saw him, and 
he was just as much there as if my eyes 
saw him. Oh ! what a wonderful Saviour 
he is. He sticks closer than a brother. I 
cannot tell you how dear he is to me. 



72 THE SAILOR. jflj 

"When we got into Port-aii-Prince, we had 
some prayer meetings on shore. The peo- 
ple were very much astonished. They said 
they had never seen any thing like it — 
never had seen any praying sailors before.'^ 



CHAPTER XL 
A Call in the Night. 

The following narrative of a religious 
experience was given in the Fulton Street 
Prayer Meeting : 

" Hear what the Lord has done for me." 

So said a very intelligent young man. He 
was anxious to have all present know what 
religion had done for him, " for after hear- 
ing," said he, " you will be ready to say, let 
no one be despaired of. If such a wretch as 
I, such a scoffer, unbeliever and infidel 
could be converted, who may not be con- 
verted ? 

" I was brought up an infidel. My father 
and my mother were infidels ; also my sis- 
ters and brothers. There has never been 
7 c^) 



74 A CALL IN THE NIGHT. 

any thing but infidelity in our family since 
my remembrance. I had one brother die a 
short time ago, an infldel in death, as he had 
been in life. He died in perfect unconcern, 
looking upon human life as a failure. It 
had failed with him to reialize his hopes. It 
has failed with all, was his theory. So he 
died. I believed as he believed ; and though 
I had all that money can buy, for I never 
wanted for money, to the full extent of my 
wishes, yet I was far enough from happiness ; 
and though I had a good and loving com- 
panion and little children, yet I longed to 
die too. I found life so full of disappoint- 
ments ; found that men whom I hoped and 
believed would be true, turned out to be 
false; found the world so full of knavery and 
deceit, that I longed to get out of it, and to 
try the uncertain future. I had not the 
slightest fear that it could be any worse than 
the present. Twice I attempted suicide; 



A CALL m THE NIGHT. 75 

once drank off laudanum enough to kill 
four men, and with my book in hand, and 
my light by my side, I laid myself down to 
read, to sleep, to die. I awoke, not in eterni- 
ty, but in time. I was disappointed ; health, 
wealth and friendship could not make me 
happy. This painful conviction grew upon 
me ; I was most unhappy and dissatisfied 
with life. I actually made the second at- 
tempt upon my life, with no better success 
than before. Often I fully resolved that be- 
fore night I would destroy myself, and after 
I lay down at night resolved that, come 
what w^ould, next morning I would end 
mv life. 

" One night, at three o'clock, I awoke out 
of a sound sleep, with the strong impression 
that I ought to get up and read the Bible. 

" ' No,' said I, ' why should I get up and 
read the Bible ? I do not believe it ; I have 
discarded it long ago, never believed it. It 



76 A CALL IN THE NIGHT. ^ 

I 

would be nonsense forme to get up and read 
the Bible ; I consider the Bible a humbug, 
and religion a delusion. I will not get up.' 

" So I resolved to sleep. 

" ' Yes, you must get up and read the 
Bible. You want a friend. There is no 
friend in the world. God will be your 
friend, and the Bible will tell you how God 
will be your friend. Get up and read your 
Bible.' 

"It was as if some one was speaking to 
me. The voice was within. 

" I answered : 

" ^ I know I want God for my friend, but 
I have God for my friend already.' 

" ' No, God is not your friend, but he may 
be, and the Bible will tell you how he 
may be.' 

" So I got up and read the Bible. 

" I made several attempts to go to sleep. 1 
turned upon this side — then upon that. I 



A CALL IN THE NIGHT. 77 

gathered my pillow up under my head in 
one shape, then in another. 

" ' Get up aiid read the Bible,' kept ringing 
in my ears. 

" I could not still myself. So I arose and 
thought I would open the Bible and read the 
chapter which first met my eye, and then lie 
down and go to sleep, supposing that that 
would still myself, and be satisfactory to the 
voice speaking within me. 

" I opened the Bible, as proposed, and tke 
first chapter which met my eye, was the fif- 
teenth chapter of John. I read it through. 

" ' This is very beautiful,' said I, and read 
on through the next. ' These are wonderful 
words,' said I. 

''Then I read that wonderful prayer in the 
seventeenth chapter, and I was prepared to 
say with one of old, ' Never man spake 
like this man.' I felt convinced at once that 
this was ti-ue, inspired ; no mere man eve^ 

7* 



78 A CALL IN THE NIGHT. 

could, or ever would, use such language — 
such words. From that very hour all my 
doubts about the truth and divine origin of 
the Bible vanished. I most solemnly de- 
clare, that from that night to this hour I 
have never had one moment of doubt about 
the truth of the Bible. I was conscious that 
I believed it, and on this very account I was 
an astonishment to myself. 

" ' Did I not tell you that the Bible would 
tell you how God might become your friend ? ' 
said the same internal monitor. 

" I really thought I was getting beside 
myself. 

" All this time my wife lay sleeping. I 
went to her — roused her up. She inquired 
of me what I wanted. 

" ' Talk to me,' said I. ' Say, am I not 
deranged ?' 

" ' What makes you think so ? ' 

"'I have been pressed to read — to get up 



A CALL IN THE NIGHT. 79 

and read the Bible, and I have done it, 
and I think I must be deranged.' 

" I explained to her all the circumstances, 
and told her of my present convictions, and 
repeating the inquiry, if she did not think I 
was a little out. My wife was a professedly 
pious woman. She heard me through, with 
deliberate and fixed attention, and then said: 

" ' Ton were never more rational in your 
life.' She said she was very glad to find 
me feeling as I did. 

" I now felt that I was a sinner. Never 
had felt so before. I knew not what to do. 
I was brought into a new and unexpected 
position. T kept all my feelings to myself, 
speaking to no one but my wife. She urged 
me to go and see the clergyman, but I de- 
clined. I would see no one." 

His wife asked the clergyman to call upon 
him, which he did, and without saying much 
to him he urged him to come and hear him 



80 A CALL IN THE NIGHT. 

preach the next Sabbath, to which he as- 
sented. 

"Next Sunday I was in church," he con- 
tinued. "All this time I had never believed 
in Clirist as a divine being. The sermon was 
on the conversion of Saul of Tarsus. Saul 
as a sinner and Christ as a Saviour were ex- 
hibited. I saw that Christ must be divine, as 
well as human, and the whole plan of salva- 
tion, by faith in him, seemed to be revealed 
to me at once. Still I did not embrace him 
as my Saviour. I had no peace of mind. 

" One evening I was conversing with a 
.young man, an intimate friend of mine. He 
was the son of very pious parents. I knew 
myself to be a favorite with them. As we 
proceeded in our convei*sation, my friend re- 
marked that he believed he should trj hence- 
forth to lead a different life, and he added 
that I ought to do the same, and then he 
said, ' Do you know that my father and 



A CALL IN THE NIGHT. 81 

mother spent from twelve to one o'clock on 

night,' naming it, ' praying for your 

conversion V 

"It was the very same night on which I 
was awakened out of a sound sleep, and 
urged to get up at three o'clock, and read 
the Bible. 

" ' Now,' I said, ' I understand the whole 
thing.' I then recounted to him the facts of 
my case. I made up my mind that I woulc 
be a Christian at once. My mind and heart 
took strong hold of the way of salvation 
through a crucified Saviour immediately. 

"I resolved to make the sacred word of 
God my study and my delight. By its 
blessed teachings I was brought to the foot 
of the cross, and 1 have found that peace 
and happiness which surpass infinitely all 
the enjoyments of the world, and which my 
heart had been craving all my life long. 
Only my peace passes all understanding. 



82 A CALL IN THE NIGHT. ^ 



I 



except by those who have experienced the 
same. On all occasions, and nnder all cir- 
cumstances, I am ready and willing to bear 
witness for Christ. Immediately after in- 
dulging the hope that I was a Christian, I 
set out to do all in my power to win my 
friends and companions to Jesus. About 
thirty of them, chiefly young men, have 
come out on the Lord's side. My principal 
trial is that old professors of religion are so 
remiss and lukewarm in the service of 
Christ. I do feel that the Christian life 
should be earnest. I regard my own con- 
version as a direct and special answer to 
prayer. I believe that no more improbable 
case than my own could have been taken 
hold of, for I was not only an infidel, 
thoroughly set against all religion, but I 
was also surrounded with influences which 
made my case as hopeless as any one's can 
possibly be. 



I 



A CALL IN THE NIGHT. 83 

A sailor arose in a late meeting, and said 
he liad signed articles and had shipped on 
board the ship Mendi, wliich was to sail in a 
few days for the coast of Africa. He said 
the mate and four of the seamen were pious 
men, and he wished the meeting to pray for 
I the ship on her voyage, that every unconver- 
ted man bu board might be converted before 
they reach the coast. He urged, in a very 
earnest manner, the importance of prayer. 

Another sailor arose, and said, ''I never 
before have been in this meeting. I am also 
to go on the ship Mendi, to the coast of 
Africa. I am here, never, probably, to be 
here again, and I must tell you how the 
Lord came to me in the ship. He made me 
confess I was a great sinner, and accuse my- 
self of many crimes. I did not like it then. 
But oh! how thankful I am now that he ever 
made me feel that I was a great sinner. 
What would have become of me if I had 



84 A CALL IN THE NIGHT. 

never been made to feel it ? I tried to 
thrust convictions far from me. They would 
not go. They stared me in the face. Then 
the devil said, ' You are so great a sinner, 
there is no mercy for you.' 

"Then I remembered Christ died for all 
sinners, for the worst sinners — even the very 
chief. So I resolved to go to hirft. Satan 
said : ' Better knock off some before you go.' 
I said ' No, I cannot get salvation that way. 
I have tried knocking off before — and could 
not do it. It is not in me.' So I had to go 
to Jesus — sins and all — -Just as I was, and 
told him what a wretch I was and how sorry 
I was. And oh ! what sweet words I heard. 
'Whosoever cometh unto me I will in no 
wise cast out. Though your sins be as 
scarlet, they sh^ll be whiter than snow — and 
though they be red like crimson, they shall 
be as wool.' I found the way to come to 
him, was to come — sins and all — and cast all 
down before him. 



CHAPTER XII. 
How the Infidel Convinced Himself. 

When unbelieving men reason in favor of 
the truth, they sometimes convince them- 
selves of the truth of that which they once 
denied. Truth has in itself a power to over- 
come error when once it can be felt. So it 
was in the case here given. 

A young clergyman from Troy said : 
" We had an infidel living within the 
bounds of my parish, who never went to 
church, never did any thing but ridicule and 
oppose religion, boasted that he could con- 
found the ablest argument among Christians 
who dared to encounter him. One day that 
man was met by another infidel, who began 
to deride the revival which was prevailing 
in Troy, and the first named began to de- 

8 (85) 



86 HOW THE INFIDEL 



4 

fend it. In giving an account afterwards of ! 
the conversation that ensued, the infidel said; ' 
' What made me take up in opposition to ! 
my infidel friend, in favor of the revival as | 
being the work of God's Spirit, I know not, 
unless it was my love of disputation and the 
habit I had of always being in the opposition. 
But when he advanced arguments against 
the revival, I advanced arguments in its ^ 
favor, until at last I convinced myself that it 
was the work of God, and could be no other.' 
"At that point," said the clergyman, " this 
man came to me and told me all. And soon 
I saw that the man was in sore trouble. He 
said, ' I am in distress ; I want you to tell 
me how I can get relief.' I told him to 
take his Bible and go to his room and open 
it at the eleventh chapter of Luke, and read 
with care the first thirteen verses : and then 
turn over to the fifteenth chapter and read 
the whole story of the prodigal son. I told 



CONVINCED HIMSELF. 87 

him to read thesCj believing every word he 
read: then, with the Bible open before him, 
to kneel down and pray, believing, and ac- 
cepting, and coming, as the prodigal did, to 
his father. The man went home and did as 
he was requested, with little confidence in 
any thing which he conld do, but thoroughly 
stripped of all his own self-righteousness, and 
convinced that he was a poor, perishing sin- 
ner. That prayer was not made in vain. 
That man," continued the pastor, "is now a 
member of my church, and we hope is a true 
Christian. I feel confident, when directing a 
sinner in the language of the Bible — not 
books — not tracts — not any thing but the 
pure, unadulterated word of God. We must 
lead sinners to Christ by means of his own 
blessed words. 

A gentleman spoke of his own religious 
history. He said he was the son of a clergy- 
man — the son of a pious mother also. Yet 



88 THE INFIDEL CONVINCED. 

he had now to confess that he had been an 
infidel, notwithstanding a fond father's pray- 
ers, and a mother's tender care and counsels. 
He was an infidel in spite of himself, and he 
was made an infidel by his own observations. 
He had noticed that there was a wide diflfer- 
ence between the professed belief and the 
practices of Christians. His Bible could not 
be the word of God, he thought, and those 
who professed to receive it as such really did 
not believe its teachings. 

" But the time came when I was to feel 
that there was a truth in religion. I felt 
the need of a Saviour. I felt that religion 
proposed just such a Saviour as I did need. 
Oh ! how my miserable doubts fled, when 
made to feel what a poor wretch 1 was. 
That Saviour I needed I found in the Lord 
Jesus Christ. Now I am not only a pro- 
fessing Christian, but I am a minister of 
the Lord Jesus." 



CHAPTER XIIL 

Prayer for an Infidel. 

A GENTLEMAN Said lie liad a peculiar case 
for prayer to present to the meeting. It was 
for the conversion of an infidel. ^'I have been 
talking," said he, '' with that man this very 
morning, and he has given his consent that 
I may ask you to pray for him. He says he 
does not believe one word of the Bible as a 
revelation from God, — not one word about 
religion; but he says to me: 'You believe 
that the Bible is divinely inspired ; you be- 
lieve that religion is a solemn reality ; and if 
you do, jo\i ought to be concerned for me I 
You ought to pray for me, and you ought to 
carry my case to the prayer meeting and ask 

8* (89) 



90 PRAYER FOR AN INFIDEL. 

others to pray for me, and I am willing you 
shonld. I am willing you sliould act a good 
conscience in the matter. At the same time 
I acknowledge to you that this, in my judg- 
ment, is all nonsense.' 

After fervent prayer had been offered, a 
gentleman said : " We must not suppose 
that the infidel believes no more than he pro- 
fesses,to believe on the subject of religion. 
He is often very unwilling to admit to his 
own mind, even, how much he does believe. 
Let me tell you of a single example of late 
conversion. A man of my acquaintance 
gave the following facts as matters of his 
own experience. When he was before the 
session of which I am a member, they came 
out. He had been converted and he wished 
to make public profession of his attachment 
to Christ. He told us that he had been an 
infidel — a rank infidel, — no one more de- 
cided in his unbelief than himself. But one 



PRAYER FOR AN INFIDEL. 91 

thing had always troubled him. He said 
that for more than twenty years his mind 
had been agitated with one single impres- 
sion, and he never could shake it off. Twenty 
years ago he happened to overhear two men 
conversing on the subject of religion. He 
heard one man ask the other, 'ii he loved 
the Lord Jesus Christ.' 

"The man answered — 'No! I do not 
think I do.' 

" 'What !' said the inquirer, 'not love the 
Lord Jesus Christ ! I love him.' 

"That was all I heard of the conversation ; 
and they did not know that I had heard even 
that. ' I Jcnew^^ said the man, ' that he who 
asked that question did love the Lord Jesus 
Christ. I knew he did. I felt in my own 
soul that he did. There was something that 
carried the irresistible conviction to my mind, 
and for twenty years I have been followed 
with that conviction. It has been the cause 



92 PRAYER FOR AN INFIDEL. 

of frequent and deep disquietude. But of 
late it has troubled me more than ever. I 
have asked myself, Why should that man 
love the Lord Jesus Christ? And if he had 
good cause to love the Lord Jesus Christ, 
why may I not — why ought I not to love 
him ? So, of late, this question has been so 
pressed upon my mind, that I could get no 
rest. I have found it a barbed arrow in my 
heart. I was smitten with dismay at the 
convictions which came clustering upon ma 
1 have found that there were within me 
no principles of self moral recovery. I was 
led to despair of help or happiness in my- 
self. I have found reasons, many and pres- 
sing, why I should love the Lord Jesus 
Christ. I have such a spiritual necessity 
upon me as none but Christ can relieve. 
I have come before this session, to tell them 
tluit all my hope is that I am a pardoned 
sinner.' " 



CHAPTER XIV. 
A Hard Case, and a Great Change. 

A YOUNG man addressed the meeting who 
was from Boston. He related the facts of 
his own history and conversion. His parents 
died when he was a mere infant, and he was 
left to poverty, and want, and unfriendliness, 
and sorrow, to come up as he could in the 
midst of the ruinous injduences of a city. As 
he grew in years he grew in crime, so that 
there was not a crime, in the whole cata- 
lo2:ue of crimes, which he had not committed, 
except the crime of murder. And even that 
crime he had deliberately planned against a 
man Avho had wronged him in a grievous 
manner. The first time he met him, in a 
lone place, or on a dark night, he meant to 

(»3) 



94 A HARD CASE. 

give him a blow which should take away his 
life. With this resolution he entered his 
room one night, and took off his coat and 
boots to get ready for bed. It was early 
bed-time. And there, in that room, he was 
smitten down, as was Saul of Tarsus. He 
was all unconscious of the passage of time. 
He found himself on his knees at twelve 
o'clock — midnight — begging and pleading 
with God for mercy. And that night, and 
in that lone hour of midnight, he found peace 
in believing in Jesus. He declares that no 
living mortal had ever said a word to him on 
the subject of religion, in connection with 
his religious exercises of that night. He had 
been to no meetings. He had been previous- 
ly under no religious impressions. His 
friends and associates were all irreligious. 
He had been in the habit of neglecting all 
religious means of grace, never regarded the 
Sabbath, never went to church, was utterly 



I 



AND A GREAT CHANGE. 95 

.ecldess and impatient of all religious re- 
straint. The first thing he did, in the 
morning, was to go to his enemy. 

" I have come," said he to him, " to be 
revenged on you." And then he told him 
how he had plotted against his life, and 
determined to take it. But he believed that 
God had forgiven him, and now he confessed 
how great the crime was, and how anxious 
lie was to be forgiven. 

" Will 3' ou forgive me?" said the young 
man. " God has forgiven me, and now I 
want you to forgive me too." 

His enemy, he said, looked upon him with 
the utmost surprise, to hear him, a wretched, 
ruined, hardened man talking about being 
forgiven. But he saw he was in earnest, 
and he stretched out the hand, and he was 
heartily forgiven. Then his peace flawed 
like a river. This was several months ago. 
He had gone on rejoicing ever since. TT 



96 A HARD CASE. 

was now connected with one of tliQ churches 
of Boston, and he takes hold in the work of 
serving Christ, with just as much earnestness 
as he formerly did in the work of serving 
the adversary of souls. All the time he was 
speaking, there was a remarkable expression 
of earnestness and glad sincerity on his 
counteuance. He says that he shall ever 
feel that all the agency concerned in his 
awakening and conversion, was that of the 
Holy Spirit. He believes he was converted 
in answer to the prayers made for him by 
his mother when he was in his early child- 
hood, and God's set time to hear and answer 
had come. 



\ 



CHAPTEK XV. 
Christ a Terrible Judge. 

What shall be the end of them who know 
not God and obey not the Gospel of our Lord 
Jesus Christ ? 

An attendant in the Fulton Street Prayer 
Meeting said : Over a year ago, after fin- 
ishing a business interview with a man who 
from infancy had been taught that there was 
no better being than man, he gave him a 
tract, at which something like profanity was 
uttered by the man to whom it was given. 
They parted. About a year ago he met the 
same person in the street. His health was 
much impaired and he was fast becoming 
blind. His physicians told him he must be- 
come totally blind. Being about to separate, 
9 <^^) 



98 CHRIST A TERRIBLE JUDGE. 

some more tracts were offered to liim, telling 
him what thev were. He answered : 

" Oh ! tliese are like tliose which have done 
me so much good. 

'' Months ago, when I was nearly blind 
and discouraged, I tried to settle all my 
matters of business and property, and was 
continiially dwelling upon my afflictions 
and meditating suicide. I and my family 
occupied a house having a stable in the rear. 
I was a terror to myself. Every human 
being gave me alarm. Even my little child- 
ren distressed me. A Methodist woman 
used to visit my family. She urged me to 
seek God — told me that many men, worse 
than I, had sought and found salvation 
through the atonement of Jesus Christ. Why 
not I? She gave me tracts. 

'' I laughed her to scorn. What! Could a 
poor ignorant woman like her know more 
about this matter than I? I, who attended 



CHRIST A TERRIBLE JUDGE. 99 

the great Dr. ' s preaching in a Unitarian 

church for fourteen years! I, who had had 
such instruction, from a cliild ! Preposter- 
ous and absurd ! 

"I took the tracts, however. I spent 
much of my time in the stable where I in- 
tended to hang myself, brooding over these 
things. 

"On one occasion, w^hile so occupied, still 
meditating suicide, the idea came to my 
mind : You are complaining of your lot. 
You look upon this stable as not good enough 
for you, even to hang in. Your Saviour was 
born in a stable. You meditate suicide. 
The very day you commit it, you will be in 
hell. It is heaven or hell at last, and you 
know it. You have heard of heaven and 
heaven only. But there is a hell, and you 
had better believe it. i abandoned my de- 
sign. The Holy Spirit strove with me. I 
was led — was enabled and persuaded to em- 



100 CHRIST A TERRIBLE JUDGE. 

brace Jesus Christ, so freely offered in the 
Gospel. I have since made public profession 
of my faith in the Methodist Church." 

A few *days after the speaker met the 
person referred to, who said : 

"I called a short time since on Dr. , 

mj old minister, and said : ' I attended on 
your preaching for fourteen years, and was 
well nigh frozen to death by it. I w^as bad, 
and your preaching never told me how to 
become any better. I heard one-half the 
truth. You told me what a good being 
Jesus Christ was, and so he is. I have found 
that out. You told what a beautiful place 
heaven is — and so it is. I have found that 
out too. But you never told me that there 
is a dreadful hell — I have found that out 
also — and that Jesus Christ will be a 
terrible Judge to the finally impenitent! 
But I know it all now. I know it all, and 
you, Dr. , had better believe it ! ' " 



CHAPTEE XVI. 
The Converted Free Thinker. 

AlT the daily prayer meeting a young man 
arose and said : 

" It is not often that I feel as if I ought to 
say any thing in a religious meeting. But 
now I do not think it right for me to be 
silent. It is only a short time that I have 
hoped that I was a Christian. I was always 
as I call myself a moral man. To be this was 
all that I supposed necessary for happiness 
here or hereafter. I was a free thinker. I 
made little account of Christianity in the 
world. I thought all professions of religion 
a mere sham. I thought all that would be 
required of man was a moral life. I prided 

9* (101) 



102 THE CONVERTEI 

myself on mine. I was well read in all the 
creeds and forms of religion of the day. My 
head was full of arguments against religion. 
I felt that no one was able to confute them. 
"Two things made a deep impression upon 
my mind. A sentiment and an example. I 
will say a word of the example. I married 
a young pious wife. She set before me a 
consistent Christian example. She never 
argued with me on the subject of religion. 
She knew that this would do no good. I 
I could have overwhelmed her with argu- 
ments. But she reproved me every day, by 
her consistent Christian life. I felt the 
power of that reproof. If she had not been 
so consistent, I would have got along better 
with myself. But she said nothing, and kept 
living religion out in her life. She did not 
conceal the fact, that she made me a subject 
of daily, earnest prayer. This troubled me. ^ 
I did not feel easy to have her continually 



FREE THINKER. 103 

praying for me. I knew slie would not pray 
for me unless slie knew I needed prayer, — 
needed the blessings which she endeavored 
to procure by prayer. What a commentary 
on my life ! My wife had a calm, quiet, 
sweet repose of spirit. She enjoyed her 
religion. I could see she did. I had to 
admit it. I knew that she had a peace of 
mind to which I was a stranger. I knew 
her religion made her happy. I knew that 
her religion was of priceless value to her. 
And if it was beyond all price to her, I won- 
dered why the same experience miglit not be 
beyond all price to me. I was troubled and 
anxious, and she seemed to be in a state of 
perfect rest. 

"My mind became very much aroused, and 
all peace fled away from me. I knew 
not what to do. Not a word had as yet pas- 
sed between us. I knew she was anxious 
about me, and was praying for me, and I 



104 THE CONVERTED 

thought she was well aware that I was anx- 
ious for myself. The struggle was an awful 
one. Here I stood, a self-condemned sinner. 

"Now let me say a word about the impres- 
sion. I have heard my minister say, in one 
of his discourses, when I was not more than 
ten years old, ' that men should think of the 
world, as they Avill think of it when they 
have been in hell or heaven a hundred years.' 
Tliis made a deep impression. It was brought 
up to my mind again, with all its force. I 
could never controvert the sentiment. I 
thought that it was correct. How poor it 
made every thing appear. I had nothing hut 
the world, and at such stand points how 
worthless it was. 

" I was very miserable. I felt guilty and 
wretched beyond expression. I knew not 
how to get relief. I thought of prayer, but I 
had never prayed in my life — how should I 
begin? 1 knew not the language of prayer — 



FREE THINKER. 106 

how should I order my speech before God ? 
You cannot think liow wretched I was. It 
was an awful strusrsrle for me to ^et down on 
my knees, but God brought me to my knees 
I was completely humbled, I could only say, 
^God be merciful to me a sinner.' I felt 
that I was a sinner, but I did not feel that 
God would be merciful to me. 

''My wife, with a Christian woman's instinct 
or penetration, soon found out my state of 
mind. She prayed now with me. I was not 
now ashamed to acknowledge that I needed 
prayer — and that I prayed for myself. I 
loved my wife, and she was worthy to be 
loved. But how unspeakable was my sense 
of the blessing to my soul of that consistent 
Christian example which adorned her life. 

"This state of mind did not long continue. 
I was not left to despair, as I must have done 
in the end ; but I soon began to see the 
glorious way of salvation tli rough Christ 



106 THE CONYERTED 

4 

Jesiis. The Bible was now my counselor. 
I studied it to be instructed out of it. I had 
little knowlege of it, but the more I came to 
know of it, the more wonderful became its 
revelations to me. ' 

"At length I was led to embrace the 
Saviour, just as he was offered me in the 
Gospel. He became my joy and my hope 
I trusted Him without a shadow of waver- 
ing and doubt. 

" Now I look back to these two things a 
'the means of my hopeful conversion — the 
light and influence of a consistent Christian 
example, and the influence of the sentiment 
which fell upon my mind from the lips of | 
the living preacher, when I was but ten ^ 
years old, that we should think of this world 
as we will think of it, when we have been in t 
eternity one hundred years, whether it be '; 
in heaven or in hell. H 

"And now," said the young man in conclu- 



FREE THINKER. 107 

Bioii, "I want to appeal to all the young, who 
hear me. Do not fail to make religion the 
object of your first and chief attention. It 
is every thing to you. This world is com- 
paratively nothing. To you, who are young 
wives, and have impenitent husbands, I want 
to say: Think of the importance of a right 
example. Do not try to reason, so much as 
you try to live religion before your compan- 
j ions. Let them know, if you please, that 
! you pray for them. If they love you nothing 
will troublfc them so much as this. They 
cannot bear it. 1 could stand any thing but 
those silent prayers, which I knew w^ere 
offered, but which I never heard." 

The young man had the appearance of a 
student, or of one devoted to some kind of 
literary pursuits. He spoke with deep 
solemnity and earnestness, and what he said 
produced a deep impression. But a little 
since he was a proud, bold Free Thinker — 



108 THE FREE THINKER. 

full of self-righteousness, on account of his 
own morality. Now lie stood here, he said, 
stripped of all his ow^n vain glory — glad to 
acknowledge himself a poor, lost, unworthy 
sinner, saved by the grace of God, through 
Christ Jesus. 



CKAPTEE XVn. 
First Year with Christ. 

We are often inquired of liow lie gets 
along. We leave him to tell his own story 
of his first 3^ear's religious experience, 
written by himself, a converted infidel: 

" It is a year to-day since I first experien- 
ced the consciousness that I was a jpardoned 
sinner. 

"At no time, during that period, has a 
doubt entered my mind, in its wakeful 
hours, that Jesus Christ was my Saviour. 
My feelings, opinions, habits, associates, 
business, or the manner of doing it — all, all 
have changed. My love for Jesus and those 
who love his cause on earth, has increased, 
day by day ; and in the institutions of re- 
10 (iw) 



110 FIRST YEAR WITH CHEIST. 

ligion in which it has been my privilege to 
unite, I have enjoyed a degree of felicity, 
which, in the palmiest days of infidelity, I 
never dreamed it was possible for any 
human being to enjoy on earth. In brief, I 
ha.ve lived one whole year (out of over fifty), 
without the intervention of a single circum- 
stance seriously to mar my happiness. Such 
an occurrence never happened to me before. 
" Judging after the estimation of worldly 
minds, my circumstances have never been so 
poor, friends so few, means so limited, per- 
plexities so great, for the whole of any given 
year which I can now remember, and under 
which, but for the grace of God, and love of 
Christ in my soul, I must have utterly sunk; 
yet I would not exchange the last year's 
blessed experience for any that I ever en- 
joyed, or hoped to enjoy, when blessed with 
health, and ample means to gratify every 
temporal desire. 



FIRST YEAR WITH CHRIST. Ill 

"I am addressing you, my friend, whose 
spiritually instructed mind knows how to 
appreciate every word I write, and to fill up 
what I have omitted to express. TJie last 
has, indeed, been to me a year of blessed 
memories. In addition to the general glori- 
ous work of the Spirit, in addition to my 
own ever increasing faith in Christ, and the 
ever increasing assurance of God's love to 
me personally, for his Son's sake, I have 
witnessed of some, and have heard of others, 
to whom the Lord has been alike gracious, 
amongst my own immediate friends and 
acquaintances. And, although some remain, 
who are very near and dear to me, and for 
whom I pray, not yet prepared to acknowl- 
edge Christ as their Saviour, yet my faith 
is not impaired, nor my expectation dimin- 
ished, that God will, in his own way and 
time, enlighten their minds by the Spirit's 
* influence, so that they will see and feel what 



112 FIRST YEAR WITH CHRIST. 

they are, and seek and find what they 
want — a saving interest in the merits of. 
Christ. 

"H^d I kept a journal of the last year's 
vicissitudes, or had I time to recapitulate a 
tithe of tlie interesting incidents which 
memory recalls, as having transpired within 
it, I am more than persuaded that you 
would join with me in one shout of ^ Glory 
to God in the highest.' We know (you and 
I) that many, doubted the genuineness of 
my conversion ; many still doubt it ; they 
are not to be blamed. 

''The fact that it is so, pervades so strong- 
ly, strangely, gratefully my mind, that I am, 
when alone, an object of wonder and amaze- 
ment to myself. Before my conversion, no 
man ever had a more firm conviction of the 
truth of any fact, resting upon evidence, 
than I had, that Jesus Christ (if such a per- 
son ever existed) was a mere man, begotten 



FIRST YEAR WITH CHRIST. 113 

and born like other men, lived like other 
men, and died like other men ; that the story 
of his resurrection and ascension was unsup- 
ported b}^ proof which could satisfy the mind 
of honest and intelligent inquiry. In years 
that are past, I have conversed upon this 
subject with some of the best educated and 
most astute minds to be foiind in the Christ- 
ian ministry, and others, and have never 
found one who could shake in the least the 
convictions of my mind. They were the 
result of my own thoughts, unaided by in- 
fidel authors (I never read one), suggested 
by an examination of the text of Scripture, 
without note or comment, and under the 
influence of a sincere desire that I might 
find the truth. 

" My mind now being enlightened, as I 
firmly believe, by the Holy Spirit, I see and 
appreciate, in some degree, the glorious 
truths which the Gospel contains. I know, 

10* 



114 FIRST YEAR WITH CHRIST. 

as well as I can know any thing of which I 
am conscious, that Jesus Christ is the Son 
of God; that he was begotten, and born, 
and lived, and died, and rose again, in the 
manner stated in the Bible. Indeed, I am 
not capable of conceiving how it was 
possible for God to make an intelligible 
communication to rebel man, except in the 
very way and manner it has been accom- 
plished ; and while I contemplate the glorious 
exalted majesty and condescension of God, 
thus manifested, oh ! how meager and desti- 
tute is all human language, of power to 
express the sentiments of my soul! And 
when I realize that all this is for me^ I am 
overwhelmed with gratitude and love. But 
I must stop. My soul is full — language 
fails. When I learn the language of heaven 
I can express my feelings better. . ' I '11 wait 
till Jesus comes— heaven is my home.' " 
In a subsequent meeting he arose and said : 



FIRST YEAR WITH CHRIST. 115 

" Most of you know what I once was. 
Some of you know what I now hope I am, 
a believer and a follower of the Lord 
Jesus. When I was. brought out of dark- 
ness, the change was as of one coming from 
night into day. I had embraced the Saviour 
with all my heart, and my rejoicing in his 
forgiving grace and pardoning love was be- 
yond the power of language to describe. 
Shortly after this I met an old disciple of 
Jesus. He said to me, ' Col. S., how is it 
with you?' I told him of the exceeding 
happiness I had in Jesus. My friend mani- 
fested his confidence and rejoicing, but 
added : ' I have a word of caution to give 
you. Do not suppose that this happiness 
will last. Deep darkness will intervene. 
This is tlie common experience of the best 
Christians.' For a little time I was thrown 
into an agony of feeling, in view of the pos- 
sibility that I might be left in darkness and 



116 FIRST YEAR WITH CHRIST. 

i 

doubt. In this state of mind I went to the - 
Lord Jesus in prayer, and, with strong cry- 
ing and tears, I poured out my heart before 
Him. I begged that whatever else I might 
suffer, I might never be permitted to suffer 
the hidings of his blessed face. Two words, 
as if written with living fire, stood out full 
before the eye of my mind. Never did I see 
any thing more plain. They w^ere these 
words : ' Watch ! ' • ' Pray ! ' Often since that 
have I seen these words, and liave endeavor- 
ed to obey them. 'Watch!' 'Pray!' are 
ever in my mind, given me, in answer to my 
earnest agonizing prayer, by the blessed 
Jesus. And, since first he spoke peace to 
my soul, I must say it, to the glory of His 
grace, I have not walked in darkness — never 
has the Saviour hidden his face from me, but 
my joy in him has been like a river, flowing 
on with a deeper, broader current, the far- 
ther it rolls its swelling tide. 



CHAPTEE XYIIL 
Sight to the Blind. 

A YOUNG man arose, who said he was 
nearly blind, and for five years he had 
been deprived of his sight. Of late he had 
fallen into skeptical habits of mind on the 
subject of religion. He rejected the great 
doctrines of the Gospel as unworthy of be- 
lief. A deeper moral blindness had settled 
down upon his soul than that which clouded 
his natural vision. Tears had passed since 
he felt any concern about himself. He re- 
jected all evidence of the truth of religion. 
So he had gone on in his journey toward 
eternity, a thoughtless, heedless, unbelieving 
man. 

Some time ago he became interested in the 

(in> 



118 SIGHT TO THE BLIND. 

publislied accounts of the Fulton Street 
Prayer Meeting. He was then living 
out of the city. From week to w^eek 
these accounts were read to him, and his 
mind at once became deeply interested in the 
facts which were here related. He became 
uneasy, as well as interested, and the more 
he heard, the more anxious he was to hear 
of the incidents of the meeting. He became 
fully satisfied that there was a divine power 
here. Nothing but the power of God could 
produce the effects which he knew were pro- 
duced. With this solemn conviction upon his 
mind, that conversion was the work of the 
Holy Spirit, his own peace Avas gone. All 
that carnal security of the past few years, in 
which he had not had a moment of religious 
anxiety, vanished in a brief space of time, 
and he found himself a poor sinner, crushed 
under a burden, a weight of guilt. He knew 
now too much of himself to doubt that he 



SIGHT TO THE BLIND. Il9 

was a poor, naked, self-ruined, miserable, 
perishing sinner. The more he struggled for 
relief, the less relief he found. He was 
plunged deeper and deeper into trouble by 
all his own vain efforts. He felt the load 
upon him sinking him down to hell. He ad- 
ded : '' But God, for his great love wherewith 
he loves sinners, and is plenteous in mercy 
towards all who come to him, through Jesus 
Christ, was pleased to show me how vain all 
my efforts were to save myself, or to make 
myself any better, or to prepare myself for 
forgiveness, or to do any thing for myself, by 
the course I was pursuing. I did not know 
that all I had to do was to come to Christ, 
just as I was. When I saw that, I found 
myself already doing it, so that the same in- 
fluence that led me to see the one, led me to 
do the other. 

" In a moment I found that all was chang- 
ed. I trusted Christ and Christ alone. I 



120 SIGHT TO THE BLIND. 

renounced all my own righteonsnesss — all 
my vain endeavors — all confidence in my 
prayers — my tears — my any thing and every 
thing. I gave it all up, and took, instead 
of all these things, Christ. I took him to my 
soul, as my all-sufficient and everlasting por- 
tion. And oh ! what a portion I have found 
in him! Oh! what an infatuation it was in 
me to be a proud unbeliever; such a sinner 
as I was to be a despiser of Jesus ! 

" It is only six weeks ago since all these 
things became so changed to me. And do you 
think I have nothing to be thankful for? Do 
I owe nothing to this blessed place of prayer? 
Do I owe nothing to the reports w^hieh I heard 
read of this meeting? I have longed to come 
here and acknowledge my obligations to God, 
and, under God, to tliis meeting. I cannot 
now even tell wdiat made me desire to hear 
about this meeting. But you see what a 
blessing it has been to me." 



CHAPTER XIX. 
The New Witness. 

Infidelity is not often all of the head. It 
is often more of the heart. Many a man 
who does not openly deny the truth of reli- 
gion does not practically believe a word of 
it. Men wake np sometimes after the sleep 
of years, and are astonished at the awful 
realities which stare them in the face, and of 
which they had no previous apprehension. 

A gentleman arose in the upper lecture 
room in Fulton street ; a graceful, cultivated 
looking man, and said he had had a great 
desire to say something in this meeting. But 
coming here, as he had done, day after day, 
he had been deterred by the interesting com- 

11 (lai) 



122 THE NEW WITNESS. 

munications which were here made, and the 
evident disposition of the meeting to spend 
much of its time in prayer. 

" Yet," said he, " I feel I have a duty to 
discharge in what I have to relate. 

" Some time last August a man came into 
this meeting, a young man, in a state of 
great destitution — ragged, hungry, and 
friendless. He was the child of great pa- 
rental anxiety and solicitude ; a child of \ 
many prayers and tears. He had been care- 
fully educated. He had led an openly moral 
life. He had even made a profession of reli- 
gion. But when he came in here, he was 
without hope and without God in the world 
— a poor wretched wanderer upon the face 
of the earth. Degraded as he was, and cast 
down as he was, he saw and felt that he 
might be saved in this accepted time — in 
this day of salvation. The spirit of the 
meeting was such as to inspire hope. 



THE NEW WITNESS. lS3 

" Months have passed away. What a 
change those months have wrought. All 
that load of guilt and sin was removed. No 
name is so precious to him as tlie name of 
Jesus, none so loved and honored. The lan- 
guage of his lieart is — 

" * Bring forth the royal diadem, 
And crown Him Lord of alL* 

Now can you wonder that he loves to come 
to this place of prayer? It was here, in this 
very room, in the midst of your prayers and 
praises, that the adorable Redeemer revealed 
himself able and willing to save. Here, 
where Christ is so honored and exalted, that 
' his name is above every name,' that poor 
young man came and bowed at his feet — 
taking his yoke and his burden upon him — 
(easy and light are the yoke and the burden,) 
according to the gracious promise of the 
Saviour. He has been permitted to see and 



124 THE NEW WITNESS. 

feel that there is a fulness in Christ, of whicli, 
till lately, he had not the faintest idea, be- • 
cause he did not understand the word of God. : 
But oh! when the fountains of Christ's love 
were opened to that thirsty soul, how did 
that soul drink, and drink, and drink a full 
supply. 

" * I must have all things and abound 
While Christ is Christ to me.' 

" My dear brethren of the Fulton Street 
Prayer Meeting, that young man is before 
you, here to acknowledge the debt of grati- 
tude which he owes to God and you for all 
the Saviour has done for him liere. Long 
have I desired to tell you what I have now 
told, and add my testimony to the many tes- 
timonies which have here been given of 
Christ's ability and willingness to save. 
More than this I need not say — less I could not 
say. This place has been none other than the 
house of God and the gate of heaven to me." 



CHAPTER XX. 
Praying with the Face in the Bible. 

"Confidence in mere outward morality, as 
a means of salvation, is only one of the 
forms of rejecting the whole plan of salva- 
tion bv faith in Jesus Christ. Tlie moralist 
expects to save himself. lie feels no need 
of a days-man between him and God. He 
has no sins to be washed away in Christ's 
atoning blood. When the bandages are 
removed from his eyes he sees what a sinner 
he is." 

The foregoing remarks brought up a young 
man, who said he was a representative of the 
very class of young men which had been 
mentioned. He was moral, and honest, and 
upright, and irreproachable in his outward 

11* (125) 



126 PRAYINa WITH THE 

conduct. So he had lived. He was averse, 
however, to religion. 

Some time ago it pleased the Lord to 
awaken him to a sense of his sins. Afore- 
time he felt very secm^e. But now he saw 
that something more was needed than mere 
morality. AH his outward show of moral 
integrity only covered up the festering pol- 
lution which reigned within. He knew and 
felt that his morality could not save hira. 
He was ruined and undone, and he saw it. 

" This class of young men was practical. 
You must show such young men what they 
must do to be saved. Tell them what to do 
and they will be apt to try to do it, and they 
will find out that it does them no good, or 
that it is the means of good, one or the* other. 
I had a mother and sister praying for me and 
with me, whenever I asked them to pray. My 
distress grew deeper and deeper, and the more 
I saw of myself the more I was sitnk in despair. 



FACE IN THE BIBLE. 127 

" Some one told me to go to my room, open 
my Bible, and on my knees, laying my face 
in my Bible, ask God to forgive my sins for 
Jesus' sake, and own me as his child. 

" I felt the importance and solemnity of 
the act, in which I was determined to give 
myself up to God, to be disposed of accord- 
ing to his holy pleasure. So down upon my 
knees I fell, before God, in my own chamber, 
and then, upon my open Bible, I bowed my 
face, and implored my heavenly Father, for 
the sake of that Saviour which that Bible 
revealed, to have mercy upon me. I gave 
myself up to God, by a hearty consecration 
of all I am and all I have to his service. 

" I tell you," said he, with much emphasis 
and pathos, " there is no such thing as a sin- 
ner coming with his heart to Christ, and being 
rejected by him. Christ cannot cast away 
the sinner who sues to him for mercy. He 
has promised that he will not. ^ Him that 



128 THE FACE IN THE BIBLE. 

cometli unto me I will in no wise cast out/' 
Try it. Go home to your rooms and kneel 
down upon your knees, with your open Bible 
hefore you. Lay your face into that Bible, 
and ask God, for the sake of the atoning 
blood which tjiat Bible reveals, to have mercy 
on you ; and he will. It is not the form of 
the thing to which I attach any importance, 
but it is the thing itself. It is the asking for 
the sake of Christ. 

" I know there are burdened hearts here 
to-day. You are here, just as I was here. 
And I want you to do as I did — go to Jesus. 
What sweet peace I found! What solid joyl 
What animating hope ! What grateful labor 1 
What glorious prospects! All these, since 
the hour when I hid my face in my open 
Bible, and asked God to have mercy on me 
for the sake of what that Bible revealed, of 
a Saviour crucified and slain." 



CHAPTER XXL 
The Chief of Sinners. 

" Have you a few minutes whicli you can 
give to me? I wish to speak to you." 

Some one had laid his hand on the shoul- 
ders of the writer in the crowd, as the people 
were leaving the Fulton Street Prayer Meet- 
ing, and many were speaking on every side 
to each other as they passed out. 

On looking round we saw a fine, tall, gen- 
tlemanlj^ looking man, as the one who had 
addressed the inquiry above, and he was 
waiting for an answer. He had been observ- 
ed often, of late, in the meetings, though we 
did not know him. He had an intelligent, 
open countenance, marked with an expres-^ 

(129) 



130 THE CHIEF OF SINNERS. 

sion of great sadness. He was apparently i 
about thirty-five years of age. 

We answered that we should be happy to 
speak with him. 

We both made our way to the back part 
of the lecture room, and took one of the 
seats. The room was soon empty and we were 
by ourselves ; perceiving which, he began : 

" I have wanted to speak with you, and 
even now I know not what to say, or how to 
get my case before you. 1 may as well say 
I am a very bad man; I am one of the 'chief 
of sinners.' " 

We sat still, very much astonished, for we 
had noticed this man particularly, and took 
him to be some pious. Christian merchant, 
who was in the habit of coming to this room 
to pray. 

"You look incredulous, but you do not 
know me as I know myself. I have been a 
very wicked man, a fast man, a wealthy man, 



THE CHIEF OF SINNERS. 131 

iving at the clubs, and keeping company 

with such men as V , and G , and 

M , and R ,'• naming some men of 

well-known wealth and standing. ''I have 
wanted to ask you what I should do." 

' He sat with his eye intently fastened upon 
ours. After a pause, with an expression of 
disappointment in his face, he added : 

"I know you do not believe me. You 
cannot believe me. iSTobody believes me. 

I went to prayer meeting, and 

twice I asked them to pray for me, and they 
would not. One gave me a book to read, 
but no prayer. I am the chief of sinners. 
I have been such a sinner that they are 

afraid of me. They say — there comes . 

What is he up to now ? They have not a 
particle of confidence in me. They think 
this is all a sham. They do 'nt dare to pray 
for me for fear I will go away and make fun 
of them, I suppose. I am so wicked that 



132 TUK CHIEF OF SINNERS. 

they cannot believe me sincere wlien I ask 
them to pray for me." 

"That is strange," we replied. "The 
greater the sinner, the greater the need of 
prayer." 

" Exactly so," said he, " I shonld have 
asked for prayer here, but I was afraid they 
would not pray for me." 

" Certainly they would," we replied. " If 
you were to rise and ask for prayer yourself, 
you may be assured they would pray for 
you." 

"Do you think so?" 

" Yes, we think so." 

"Well, you don't know me, but many 
here do. There," said he, pointing to a man \ 
looking in at the door, " there is a man at the ' 
door who knows me — knows me to be a fast > 
man — a very bad man — knows in what 
sort of sin I once lived at the same boarding 
house with him. You could not make that 



THE CHIEF OF SINNERS. 133 

man believe that I am anxious on the subject 
of religion. JSTo — no — they won't believe 
me, and what am I to do?" 

There was a most anxious, miserable look 
in his face as he gazed into the face opposite 
his. 

" Are you in good health ?" we inquired, 
somewhat puzzled in our impressions of his 
case, and supposing there might be some 
nervous debility which made him look so sad 
and melancholy. 

'^ ISTever was sick a day in my life," he re- 
plied, with a sad smile. " It is not nervous- 
ness, as you may suppose," looking very 
grave again. "It is not. Oh! if it was I 
could bear it, but this I cannot bear." And 
he hung his head down in sorrow, resting his 
forehead upon his hand. 

" If you are such a sinner as you say, why 
do you not go directly to Christ?" 

"That is it. Why don't I? How shall 

12 



134: THE CHIEF OF SINNERS. 

I ? That is just the point I wanted to talk 
about." 

" How long have you come to these meet- 
ings ? " 

" For some time. I know you have noticed 
my coming." 

" What made you come?" 

" I do not know." 

" Do you attend church on the Sabbath?" 

" Always." 

" Have you talked with your minister?" 

" I have. He gave me some good advice; 
very good advice. But he did not approve 
of my coming here." 

^' Why not?" 

" I do not know. He gave me no expla- 
nations ; but he did not think this meeting 
the place for me." 

" My friend ! do you depend on the Fulton 
Street Prayer Meeting for any relief in your 
case ? " 



THE CHIEF OF SINNERS. 135 

" I do not depend — but yet I want to have 
them pray for me." 

"Why?" 

^' Because I believe God hears their pray- 
ers." 

" And yet you say you do not depend. 
May you not be mistaken ? " 

" Perhaps so." 

" Have you ever asked for prayers here ? " 
"I have sent in a written request for 
prayer — asking them to pray for the ' chief 
of sinners.' But I have found no relief." 

" Did you expect any ? " 

"Perhaps I did." 

" Have you any right to go anywhere else 
with your case, with any expectation of 
relief, except to Christ, or to exalt this 
meeting into the place of Christ? Do you 
not see that all this is hewing out to your- 
self your own cistern — while you neglect to 
go to the fountain set open for sin in a 
Saviours blood." 



136 THE CHIEF OF SINNERS. 

He made no reply. We added: "Jesus 
Christ is exalted a Prince and a Saviour to give 
repentance and remission of sin. Don't yon 
remember his words : ' come nnto me all ye 
that labor and are heavy laden and I will 
give you rest?' And again, ^Him that 
cometh unto me, I will in no wise cast out.' 
All you have to do is simply to take him at 
his word." 

He paused a few minutes — in the deepest 
meditation, and his countenance lighted 
up with some new purpose and new light. 

"Is there any place where we can pray 
together ? " he inquired. 

In a moment we went up into one of the 
small rooms. We kneeled down together. 
One of the three led in prayer — very short — 
adapted to his case. This closed, and he 
began : " Oh ! what a prayer was that ! — full 
of repentance, confession, importunity, faith, 
love, consecration." We felt that the great 
transaction was done. 



CHAPTER XXn. 
Prevailing Prayer. 

"Has your husband been converted yet?" 

This inquiry was made of a woman who 
had requested the Fulton Street Prayer 
Meeting to i)ray for the conversion and sal- 
vation of her husband. He was an infidel 
and unbelieving man on the whole subject 
of revealed religion. He accounted the Bible 
as having no authority over the consciences 
of men, and as being no rule of faith and 
practice. The speaker said : 

" I met this wife and inquired of her, ' Has 
your husband been converted yet ? ' 

" ' No ! not yet,' she answered, ' but I am 
sure he will be soon converted. For though 

12* cm) 



138 PREVAILING PRAYER. 

he is an infidel, and boasts of his unbelief, I 
can see that he is ill at ease, and he knows 
that we are praying for him. I am sure that 
God will hear and answer prayer.' 

" Sometime afterward I met her with the 
same inquiry, and she answered with joy: 
'I believe my husband is converted. He 
prays in the family. He attends church. 
He loves the people of God. He delights in 
reading the Bible. He prays in secret, and 
he is publicly to make profession of his faith 
in Christ at our next communion.' " 



A merchant in Philadelphia, mentioned 
the case of a man in large business, who had 
about two hundred men in his employ. He 
was born in France. He had a devoted, 
pious. Christian mother, who had prayed 
much for him, when a child, but who died 
when he was a little boy. He came up to 
manhood, a scoffer at religion, and a pro- 



PREVAILING PRAYER. 139 

fessed infidel. He cared for none of these 
things. 

A few years ago he married a pious lady 
of this city. She knew that he had a pray- 
ing mother, and she joined her prayers to 
those which had been ofi'ered by the mother 
many years before, in the firm belief that 
her husband would be converted. Two 
years ago she died. She lived not to see her 
prayers answered. Yet she died in the full 
and firm belief that her prayers were to be 
answered, and her husband was to become a 
Christian. 

"]N"ow see how God hears and answers 
prayer," continued the speaker. "Here was a 
man who was a French infidel, who neglected 
all means of grace, who scoffed at all re- 
ligion ; yet he was to be converted, for 
God's promise was out for it, and it must be 
done. How was his mind to be reached, 
and what was to be done ? How was he to 



140 PREVAILING PRAYER. 

be convinced of the truth of religion ? Who 
should bear the gospel message to him? 

" But God's methods of grace are his own. 
He came down upon that man's heart with 
the great power of his Holy Spirit, and the 
great change was wrought without the inter- 
vention of any apparent *means. The first 
that any body knew about it was in this 
way. 

" The man caused to be posted up in his 
warehouse a simple notice, given to all his 
people, inviting them to come to a meeting 
at a certain hour. 

"The hour came, and nearly all those 
people came together. He there related to 
them the amazing change through which he 
had been called to pass, in simple, earnest 
language. He then exhorted them all to 
seek salvation, as he had done, in a crucified 
Saviour." 



I 



CHAPTER XXin. 
Doomed to Destruction. 

Many a man not only refuses to come into 
the kingdom of heaven, but sets himself to 
hinder those nearest and dearest to him 
from coming. Infidelity is as cruel as the 
grave in this regard. Many a wife and 
many a child has met with tlie thrust and 
most bitter opposition when in a state of 
anxiety about the salvation of their souls. 

A gentleman stood in the middle lecture 
room prayer meeting, and narrated the fol- 
lowing facts, as having lately occurred not 
far from us : 

" In a family of wealth, and fashion, and 
irreligion, and infidelity, there was an only 
daughter. She was accomplished and intel- 

(141) 



142 i^OOMED TO Di;STRUCTION. 

ligent, highly educated, and, like the rest, 
fond of the gayeties and time-killing follies 
of fashionable life. 

" Under the power of the all-pervading pre- 
sence of the Holy Spirit, her own heart and 
mind fell ; and she w^as smitten in the midst 
of her pleasures. She bowed to that amaz- 
ing and mysterious power which arrests the 
guilty and thoughtless, and came trembling 
to her chamber as a place of prayer. On 
her knees she besought God to have mercy 
upon her. 

" One evening her father came in at dusk, 
and, going into one of the rooms, found his 
daughter upon her knees, in prayer. She 
had not perceived his coming in ; and the 
solemnity of her earnest pleadings with God 
was broken up by the stern command which 
fell in angry tones upon her ears. 

" 'Rise from your knees — my daughter — 
rise, I say.' And he took hold of her and 



DOOMED TO DESTRUCTION. 143 

lifted her np. ' You are well enough, and 
safe enough, without prayer. You are safe, 
I say, and I will have none of this in my 
house.' 

"She was so shocked that she swooned 
away. The poor girl was laid upon a sofa, 
and, by the application of restoratives, she 
was revived ; but reason fled, and she was a 
raving maniac. She could not bear the aw- 
ful shock ; and she raved with madness. It 
took four men to hold her on her bed. Her 
continued cry was 'Oh! I am lost!' 'Oh! 
I am lost!' 'Oh! I am lost!' 

"At length her mind seemed to settle down 
into a state of tranquillity, and her reason 
seemed to be restored, but she was very 
feeble. The powers of nature had been out- 
raged by that fearfal command of her father; 
but her heavenly Father had not forgotten 
to be gracious. 

"Her friends ventured to speak with her of 



144 DOOMED TO DESTRUCTION. 

the love and compassion of Jesus ; and when 
they did so, her face lighted up with a holy 
joy, and the silent tear stole down her pale 
cheeks. She seemed full of heavenly peace. 

" When her father ventured into the room, 
to see the idol of his heart, and whom he 
did not intend to allow to be a Christian, she 
would raise both hands, with the wide-spread 
palms toward him, and beckon him to go 
from her presence — her countenance, mean- 
time, indicating the deepest mental anguish. 
When left with her pious friends, it returned 
to the same peaceful expression of holy com- 
posure and joy, w^henever the name of 
Christ was mentioned. 

" Now," continued the speaker, " I have 
narrated these few facts, with the view of 
asking you to mjake^this young lady the sub- 
ject of special prayefj^^rttA time." 




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